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Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Letter Writing

Help with appeal letter

Below is the letter I have prepared to submit to the appeals board. Does anyone have any suggestions or corrections that might apply. Thank you!

To whom it may concern;

My name is Pamela King and I am writing to ask you for appeal on my denial of federal aid as this decision is based on academic grades from 1985 and 1986 when I was 19 years of age. At that time just prior to my first quarter of school beginning summer 1985 my parents unexpectedly divorced resulting in the sell of the family home and me having to vacate and to financially support myself. At that time I felt that I would be able to handle both my education as well as work 2 jobs, however I quickly became overwhelmed and fell behind in my school work. There were many times that I was forced to choose my work schedule over my school schedule in order to maintain living expenses. As I struggled to maintain the two it became apparent that I would not be able to focus properly on school and withdrew from the . This is a decision that I regret but at the age of 19 I did not have the maturity to adequately maintain both full time financial responsibilities and educational responsibilities.

I do realize that at that time I neglected my studies and I would like another chance to do better in them. Now 23 years later I know that if given the chance I will excel in all aspects of my education and will maintain an above average GPA grade level. After many years I know that I have the ability to manage my time so that I can balance my studies as well as my financial responsibilities. I will attend all of my classes to take advantage of what they have to offer and I will work closely with each of my instructors to find out how I can do well in their classes.

My goal is to earn a Bachelor's Degree through the Adult Degree Program offered at the so I may continue to grow as an individual. This is very important to me and I would like the opportunity to prove to you that my return to school will not be a disappointment. I can only do this if my application for financial aid is approved.

Please take this letter into consideration and give me the opportunity to prove my dedication.

Thank you for your time,
  

Top answer

Sentence #2 has a mistake -- "sell" should be "sale" of the family home. I would probably break that sentence up into two parts, as it is rather unwieldy. that's all for now.

  • Sentence #2 has a mistake -- "sell" should be "sale" of the family home.
  • I would probably break that sentence up into two parts, as it is rather unwieldy.
  • that's all for now.
  • Overall, nice letter.
  • I would let you return, if I were the recipient!
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1 Answers
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Sentence #2 has a mistake -- "sell" should be "sale" of the family home. I would probably break that sentence up into two parts, as it is rather unwieldy. Instead of "resulting in me" (which should actually be "resulting in my"), why not stop, then begin anew: "As a result, I had to..."

Might post more in a few minutes...that's all for now. Overall, nice letter. I would let you return, i

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