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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing

Help with acknowledging the approval of request

Hello Sir/Madam,

I've requested the company that recruited me, for the change of job location from place A to place B for personal reasons. And they approved my request. Now I need to send a few details from my side for smooth on-boarding process, like date of arrival and stuff. Here is my rather poor attempt, please help me improve in whatever way possible.

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Dear Ms xyz

I'd like to thank you for considering my request for the change of job location and alloting place B. <will this be enough?>

And following are the details I was asked to provide for smooth on-boarding process.

Date of Arrival : xx/xx/xxxx

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I dont want to seem unprofessional, and thinking that any fillers might help. Please correct me if my way of thinking is wrong.
  

Top answer

A "smooth on-boarding process" sounds as if you are about to board an airplane or a boat. The expression is pure 'corporate speak' (aka corporate bla-bla or in-house jargon ) but I understand what you're trying to say. Nevertheless, a good letter would convey only what is necessary, avoid jargon, and simply get on with business.

  • A "smooth on-boarding process" sounds as if you are about to board an airplane or a boat.
  • The expression is pure 'corporate speak' (aka corporate bla-bla or in-house jargon ) but I understand what you're trying to say.
  • Nevertheless, a good letter would convey only what is necessary, avoid jargon, and simply get on with business.
  • If you are writing to the person that approved your transfer request, you should start by thanking them for approving your request and then just provide the relevant information.
  • Dear Ms.
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2 Answers
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A "smooth on-boarding process" sounds as if you are about to board an airplane or a boat. The expression is pure 'corporate speak' (aka corporate bla-bla or in-house jargon) but I understand what you're trying to say. Nevertheless, a good letter would convey only what is necessary, avoid jargon, and simply get on with business.

If you are writing to the person that approved
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Very helpful, thank you.

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