Help to check personal statement for postgraduate

Could anyone help to correct my statement for the application of postgraduate study?

Thank you very much!!!

K


My interest in business dates back to my 2nd year of undergraduate study, when my faculty collaborated with another two local universities to organize the --- Exhibition in a shopping centre. I had the opportunity to get involved in this project as one of the organizing committee. Our team dealt with many problems throughout the whole course. My organizational skill was improved greatly. The exhibition was successful and we got enormous sponsorship from the local shopping mall. However, after the project, I started to doubt whether the same success would be achieved if I were to pursue a long-term career in the real business world with such a limited knowledge in business management.



When I worked in -----, in order to facilitate a series of promotional projects, I was required to consider budget problems, to research different sources and to apply communication strategies for the service vendors. This on-job experience allowed me to develop my understanding in financial matter, interpersonal and management skills. Working in --(other company)---- as a development coordinator not just strengthens the skills I mentioned above, but also greatly develops my multi-tasking skill and organizational skill. I have experience in preparing reports, budget planning, managing events and liaising with different important parties and advertising agencies. Coordinating the grant opening ceremony of an ---------- and different projects with great budget and manpower constraints, my teammates and I strived for our best to tackle the problems arisen throughout the organizing process and satisfying outcomes arose at the end. Having been involved in such a global and well-known companies reinforce my desire to study business at postgraduate level and to hopefully later pursue my career more effectively in the future.



After having been an exchange student at --------- University for one semester majoring in Advertising Design, I find an understanding of cultural differences is essential when interacting in the business world. Therefore, enrolling on a foreign program will let me work with people from all over the world and help me to experience more on the international business model.



As I would like to enhance my understanding and theoretical knowledge of business activities through a Master programme in business practice,--------- University , a well-established and high reputation foreign university seems to be a wise choice.



The course of Msc in Management at ------ is my best option as the curriculum includes a wide spectrum of subjects providing skills in all the key business functional areas which are necessary for different career fields. I particularly like its internship opporturnity in UK and CEMS route, which provide me valuable foresight to well-prepare myself before joining the challenging real world.



I believe that completing this Master course would be a first step to allow me to become a general manager in the business field. It will equip me to become an all-rounded, knowledgeable and competent employee of the large multinational business enterprises.



Together with my previous work experience, an enthusiasm for business, an active involvement in extra-curricular activities and an international orientation, I am confident that I will bring a great deal to the course and will be an active member of the study body.



Thank you for consideration and I look forward to having the valuable chance to learn from many --- university professors who are the experts in different aspects of business and management.