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Hornby Posted 16 years ago
Hello!
I'm from Germany and a former student who joined school again. Last week, English homework was given to us, but I'm not really sure whether the sentences I wrote are right or not. Maybe somebody could check them and give me a feedback?!
Thanks in advance!!!
Homework -->
First steps towards a lifetime of debt
In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever in history. Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages. Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money, achieve their aim easily by lying about their personal data on an application form. However, this lack of security is often a vicious trap for youngsters. A similar situation happened to Christopher Hill who obtained credit while he was underage. Unfortunately his unfamiliarity in handling with large sums of money brought him into debts. Although his parents gave him financial aid, he wasn't able to get rid of his debts. My parents wouldn't lend me any money although I really needed it. I was brought up to be careful in dealing with money, therefore I always worked hard for my own. This taught me to be aware of how hard it is to get money and that I should use it carefully.
Essay & Composition Writing
Help! Short essay - please check grammar!
Hello!
I'm from Germany and a former student who joined school again. Last week, English homework was given to us, but I'm not really sure whether the sentences I wrote are right or not. Maybe somebody could check them and give me a feedback?!
Thanks in advance!!!
Homework -->
First steps towards a lifetime of debt
In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever in history. Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages. Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money, achieve their aim easily by lying about their personal data on an application form. However, this lack of security is often a vicious trap for youngsters. A similar situation happened to Christopher Hill who obtained credit while he was underage. Unfortunately his unfamiliarity in handling with large sums of money brought him into debts. Although his parents gave him financial aid, he wasn't able to get rid of his debts. My parents wouldn't lend me any money although I really needed it. I was brought up to be careful in dealing with money, therefore I always worked hard for my own. This taught me to be aware of how hard it is to get money and that I should use it carefully.
Top answer
Here are a few suggestions: In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever before in history. Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages. Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money ("come into money" usually means inherititance.
- Here are a few suggestions: In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever before in history.
- Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages.
- Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money ("come into money" usually means inherititance.
- ) , achieve their aim easily by lying about their personal data on an application form.
- However, this lack of security (not sure that security is the word you want here.
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3 Answers
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Here are a few suggestions:
In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever before in history. Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages. Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money ("come into money" usually means inherititance. Perhaps you mean "access a line of
In the last few years credit cards and cashless payment have become more important than ever before in history. Despite a plethora of advantages in paying with a plastic card, there are a number of disadvantages. Young sophisticated people, who want to come into money ("come into money" usually means inherititance. Perhaps you mean "access a line of
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