Help reviewing my Motivational Letter - URGENT PLEASE HELP ME

Dear MountainHiker
I'm very grateful about all the post on how to write a great motivational letter, it helped me a lot since I didn't know how to do it.
Here is the final draft of my motivational letter, which I'll be pleased if you review and criticize as you did with some others. I have to present it on February 20th and I'm very excited about it but since I know it takes a lot of time to the final review I'm asking for a big help from you.
So please, take some minutes and give me your opinions, and also help me figured out how to mention in the letter that I need financial support.

Help from some other experts on the field will be great too.

Thank you everybody for the help.

My regards,

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January 28, 2014
City, Country

Faculty of Engineering and Architecture
Ghent University
Erasmus Mundus Scholarship Program

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am a Civil Engineer graduated from XXX, Honduras and I want to express my interest in applying for the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship Program for the Master of Science in Civil Engineering.

During my first years of studies one of my teachers told me that I was not enough brave to take this career and succeed in the future; I took advantage of those words and set a personal challenge, with a lot of dedication and effort I finished a year before of the established at the study plan and with great final grades; but my achievements as an engineer in the field of construction is what I am really proud about.

In 2008 I made an internship at one of my country's best companies dedicated to design and construct Steel Structures, one of my major contributions was the structural redesign of a building for offices, remarkable savings on the budget was result of the new design, which allowed to the company the accreditation for the construction process.

Two months later I got my first job, where I was the supervising engineer in charge of the construction works at the building in mention. The big test was the managing of different systems; Fire Sprinkler and Hydraulic were arduous tasks, so I committed and start my own research of the international codes and regulations for the installation and functioning of each one. This awoke a special attention on the field and I started to tell my colleagues about what I had learned and began a weekly meeting to teach more about the field.

On September 2009 I started the most challenging job I ever had. As a Resident Engineer I was in charge of the Fire Alarm, Sprinkler, Sanitary and Hydraulic Systems of the first luxury tower with 100 Condominiums at my city.
With a lot of tasks under my responsibility as new designs, calculation and control of the construction materials, the project management and supervising during construction; but also the pressure of the clients, I figure out how to managed a big team of contractors and workers from very different areas and educational levels that were not willing to accept a woman as a team leader.

I made some great improvements as new ways of installation of the pipes, money savings in materials, implementation of new ways of control based in the work progress, quality of the materials we were using, quality of the finished work in every condominium and operation testing.
I also participated on the reparation of the masonry and block walls in the building that suffered a fast damage cause by the humidity of our weather; we made research and some situ test until where we finally established according materials to every case in need for reparations.
At the end of last year I worked on the preparation of the general maintenance plans for the Fire Alarm, Sprinkler, Sanitary and Hydraulic System at the building but also I trained a staff for the implementation of itself.
Also my program is currently being used as a model by the other group of engineers assigned to some different maintenance of the building.

Even though is being five years since I graduated from college I feel this is the perfect timing to take my Masters Degree, with a strong background as an engineer and a challenging CV, I am sure about my goal as a professional that is establish a consulting company leader in building constructions.

The fact that the Engineering Faculty has Climate Control in Buildings that has an active research on Fire Safety at the Exova Facilities would fortify my current experience; the practical oriented studies about Concrete Structures and Fatique in large constructions is going to improve my know about the industry from a complete different point of view but also having Hydraulics Technology as one of the main research topics gets me more excited about what this Master can bring me at this learning process.
And in addition all the curses offered in the Program would give me the theoretical background to pursue my interests in my professional plans.
Because of these facts I am very confident about choosing one of the best engineering schools at Belgium to lead me reach my goals.

And although I find the university part challenging, I know the diversity of cultures will reward me but at the same time my personal skills and professional experience is going to bring variety to your program.

I am confidant that my personal passion on this aspiration will make me bring the best of me and certainty exceeds all your expectations as part of the community at XXX. I would be honored if you decide to accept my application.
Thank you for the opportunity and I look forward to receiving your acceptance.

Sincerely Yours,

Xxxxxx