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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Help required with a few English sentences
I am writing an academic paper and I have dyslexia. Any help with the below sentences is welcome. 
Unless the marginal consumer who benefits through free-riding imposes such a high cost on all purchasers that prevent/prevents them from spending as much on security as they would like to if the free-riders problem was being avoided, a good fails to be a public good.
This name and shame strategy does not solve all of the problems concerning the private production of public goods, but it is particularly/ in particular effective in traditional societies and small communities.
Whereas on a lower level catching a criminal could actually be outsourced to a bounty hunting company, on a higher level, a DRO could operate like an international organization that mediates between different DROs in establishing uniform laws between several DROs.
Is several here redundant?
Somalia was made up of ideological communists / was ideological communist.
Eventually a civil war developed/broke out and the answer of the international community was to try to establish a new state.
One would expect a drop in human development levels because war normally destroys modes of production and human well-being.
Is level redundant here? What would be the preferable option?
Thank you.
Unless the marginal consumer who benefits through free-riding imposes such a high cost on all purchasers that prevent/prevents them from spending as much on security as they would like to if the free-riders problem was being avoided, a good fails to be a public good.
This name and shame strategy does not solve all of the problems concerning the private production of public goods, but it is particularly/ in particular effective in traditional societies and small communities.
Whereas on a lower level catching a criminal could actually be outsourced to a bounty hunting company, on a higher level, a DRO could operate like an international organization that mediates between different DROs in establishing uniform laws between several DROs.
Is several here redundant?
Somalia was made up of ideological communists / was ideological communist.
Eventually a civil war developed/broke out and the answer of the international community was to try to establish a new state.
One would expect a drop in human development levels because war normally destroys modes of production and human well-being.
Is level redundant here? What would be the preferable option?
Thank you.
Top answer
you should rewrite the first sentence. it's way too long and hard to read and understand... (sorry, but you also have to think about the person who has to read your paper.
- you should rewrite the first sentence.
- it's way too long and hard to read and understand...
- (sorry, but you also have to think about the person who has to read your paper.
- ) just try to split it in two sentences the second one is ok like that - although I don't know what a name and shame strategy is ;-): This name and shame strategy does not solve all of the problems concerning the private production of public goods, but it is particularly / in particular effective in traditional societies and small communities.
- third sentence (I just changed several things including commas.
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1 Answers
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you should rewrite the first sentence. it's way too long and hard to read and understand... (sorry, but you also have to think about the person who has to read your paper. she/he probably won't read your sentences 5 times until she/he gets it...) just try to split it in two sentences
the second one is ok like that - although I don't know what a name and shame strategy is ;-):
Thi
the second one is ok like that - although I don't know what a name and shame strategy is ;-):
Thi
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