Help PLZ!Can you correct my Letter of Motivation

Hello everybody!

I am glad I found this forum it already helps me a lot!
I tried to write a letter of motivation for the first time and that is what I have at the moment. It would be very nice if you can correct my letter and any help would be of extreme use for me!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply as an exchange student for the Master’s Degree in Sociology at Newcastle University in UK for the winter semester 2008/09. I am a Russian student. I want to gain a deeper understanding of western society, its economics, politics, and culture, in order better prepare for my present career.

I have a Specialist degree in Statistics from Russian State Social University, Moscow. The date of my graduation was the 14th of July 2007. My studies focused on economy, statistics, English language, sociology and culture. And more than two years work as social worker in Centre of Social Help people with different disabilities. Currently, I am a full-time PhD student of Russian State Social University, Moscow. My research topics are Statistical analysis of population’s level with higher educations in Russian Federation. The expected graduation time is October 2010.

After graduating from high school, I was enrolled by my favorite university: Russian State Social University, which is first Social University in Russia and one of the best and biggest Social universities in Russia. During the five years study, I continue to work as a social worker and in Youth Organization. My duties included relations with a lot of interesting and different kinds of people, data collection and analysis a lot of information from our arrangements, preparation of reports and presentations, and the coordination work between the organization side and my team. It helped me to develop a strong analytical mind and interpersonal skills. Moreover, I learnt the value of teamwork during the two-year project and became more solution-oriented. Furthermore, I found my interest toward real career was evoked and strongly enhanced.

I know that the experience of studying abroad will help me to develop myself and to improve my knowledge. It has been my ambition to study at the Newcastle University in United Kingdom since I first saw your website four months ago and now I support and discuss with your students all about your university and this program. The university program in United Kingdom is structured differently from my universities, and that is one reason for my decision and my interest in applying to your university. I learned that Newcastle University is one of the oldest and one of the best universities in the UK. I am confident that I can make a significant contribution to the classes, especially given my Russian background, and that I will gain a strong education of western society.
The sponsor of my education will be Youth Organization.

Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your positive reply.