HELP -please CORRECTION letter of motivation

Dear Sir/Madame, Mr. /Mrs.

I receive with great interest the opportunity to work for the X, which is my personal goal for my future career, a “starting point” for professional maturity. After having successfully completed this traineeship, I would like to extend my studies in an international economics environement and choose an International Master or a PhD Thesis in the field of …

Aiming at an international career in the field of economy, I would be thrilled to involve myself as a trainee for Y offered at your Institute. I'm fascinated by the subject of economics because it is the reason behind almost every decision in our lives, whether it's as small-scale as a shopping trip or as big as an international structure.

To study and work in X as a trainee at Y it’s a great opportunity to improve not only my knowledge, but also myself, as an individual. Learning in an environment with others as interested in the subject as I am, it would lead to meaningful exchange of ideas from which would benefit all involved.

I studied at the University of Economics , specialization Banks and Stock Exchange, from 2001-2005, where I obtained my bachelor’s degree. During this period I participate in an Erasmus exchange at Dijon where I studied Monetary Economy, improving my knowledge’s in this field, especially in Financial Analyses.

Once completing my bachelor’s degree, I continue my studies, and in 2008 I finished my master’s degree of Diagnostic Analyses and Business Evaluation at the University .
It was a great chance for me to sift my knowledge accumulated during college years. I became very interested in fields of economic analyzes and accountability. I was enrolled for an internship at IUT Robert Schuman in Strasbourg where I actively participate and coordinate the “Week of sustainable development”; it was very interesting and challenging to integrate The Sustainable Development Strategy with economic, environmental and social issues in the life of the students from that university. It was my first project to coordinate from the beginning and it was very challenging from the start (strategy to acquire the best results, marketing, steps to follow, coordinating with team members) till the end (seeing the output of months of work, follow-up of the results).

My goal to work for Y also set the paths of my master thesis project focused on the application of “Cost-benefit analysis of EU-financed projects” in a village from Romania. The goal of the research was how to integrate economic rates of return in the EU co-financing mechanism (risk analysis, opportunities evaluation, business forecast, profit and loss account, cash-flow forecast, calculation of performance indicators).

As a Credit Analyst at Groupe Société Générale I become a part of a team that was driven to support the challenging economic environment by understanding how to mitigate loss, while encouraging ways to stimulate growth . Analyze credit bureaus, and other financial related information to determine consumer credit worthiness, utilize custom ware, and/ or applicant information, account behavior and payment patterns to perform risk assessment. Regarding the SME sector, I was implicated in a small project in our agency to implement SME access to finance (particularly longer term financing) and business development services, thereby fostering SME growth, competitiveness and employment creation, which are key to achieving economic growth and poverty reduction. Most important lesson learned was to make credit appraisals, based on cash flow, P&L, balance sheet, interpreting the financial indicators and without relying excessively on collateral.

Animated by the desire to succeed, ambition, tenacity and optimism, I would like to dedicate myself to the promotion of a higher consciousness of European Policies in “Europe 2020”. With this vision, your X would offer me an excellent opportunity to increase my knowledge regarding the European Union and its sustainable growth but also I will add value to the team.