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Kyorochan Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
Help please :)
Foodborne illness is the symptoms which are stomachache, vomit, and fever that are caused by
taking polluted foods and drinks which contains harmful substances. Our daily lives are becoming
quite clean than the past; however, this thing leads to decline of our immunity, so the foodborne
illness is increasing. In the United States seventy six millions of people are taken sick every year,
and five thousand people die every year. One of the causes why the people who live in the United
States get sick is because of bacteria. Breaking out and taking out the bacteria's toxin cause to
pollute the foods and drinks, so the foodborne illness occurs. According to bacterial agents,
campylobacter, salmonella, and shigella are detected most in the United States. First, if we infect
campylobacter that is detected from the meat which are our daily products, beef, and pork, it is the
fearful bacterium which causes foodborne illness. The symptoms of the campylobacter are fever,
stomachache, diarrhea, and bloody feces which are like the enteritis symptom. When we get a
treatment for it, we get better in two to five days, but there is also a prolonged possibility. Second,
we infect salmonella if heating food is not enough or the food is raw. Concretely, egg, chicken,
pork, beef and the dairy products which are not sterilized in low temperature have a possibility of
salmonella. After the infection, the symptoms which diarrhea, high fever, and intense stomachache
show up within twelve to seventy two hours, and these continue for four to seven days. Third, if we
are infected shigella, the symptoms which damages of epidermal cell, fever, and bloody diarrhea
occur in the large intestine tens of times a day. The cause is eating pollution foods and drinking
pollution water.
taking polluted foods and drinks which contains harmful substances. Our daily lives are becoming
quite clean than the past; however, this thing leads to decline of our immunity, so the foodborne
illness is increasing. In the United States seventy six millions of people are taken sick every year,
and five thousand people die every year. One of the causes why the people who live in the United
States get sick is because of bacteria. Breaking out and taking out the bacteria's toxin cause to
pollute the foods and drinks, so the foodborne illness occurs. According to bacterial agents,
campylobacter, salmonella, and shigella are detected most in the United States. First, if we infect
campylobacter that is detected from the meat which are our daily products, beef, and pork, it is the
fearful bacterium which causes foodborne illness. The symptoms of the campylobacter are fever,
stomachache, diarrhea, and bloody feces which are like the enteritis symptom. When we get a
treatment for it, we get better in two to five days, but there is also a prolonged possibility. Second,
we infect salmonella if heating food is not enough or the food is raw. Concretely, egg, chicken,
pork, beef and the dairy products which are not sterilized in low temperature have a possibility of
salmonella. After the infection, the symptoms which diarrhea, high fever, and intense stomachache
show up within twelve to seventy two hours, and these continue for four to seven days. Third, if we
are infected shigella, the symptoms which damages of epidermal cell, fever, and bloody diarrhea
occur in the large intestine tens of times a day. The cause is eating pollution foods and drinking
pollution water.
Top answer
Kyorochan: I have tried to read your essay, but most of it does not make sense to me. I have put my questions in the text, so perhaps this will guide you in rewriting it to be clearer. You have used the words pollution (noun) and polluted (adjective) incorrectly throughout the text.
- Kyorochan: I have tried to read your essay, but most of it does not make sense to me.
- I have put my questions in the text, so perhaps this will guide you in rewriting it to be clearer.
- You have used the words pollution (noun) and polluted (adjective) incorrectly throughout the text.
- Pollution is used in reference to the environment, water, and air, but not food.
- kyorochan Foodborne illness is the symptoms (An illness is not the same as a symptom.
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1 Answers
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Kyorochan:
I have tried to read your essay, but most of it does not make sense to me.
I have put my questions in the text, so perhaps this will guide you in rewriting it to be clearer.
You have used the words pollution (noun) and polluted (adjective) incorrectly throughout the text. Pollution is used in reference to the environment, water, and air, but not food.
I have tried to read your essay, but most of it does not make sense to me.
I have put my questions in the text, so perhaps this will guide you in rewriting it to be clearer.
You have used the words pollution (noun) and polluted (adjective) incorrectly throughout the text. Pollution is used in reference to the environment, water, and air, but not food.
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