Help needed!!!please commetns on my essay. Many thanks!!

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00In present-day society, numerous job opportunities are offered due to the rapid growth of technology. However, the recruiter raises the threshold for candidates who have limited skills and working experiences. Yet the same time, many problems have arisen, a serious one of which is the new graduates cannot meet the job qualifications; therefore, they have to stay unemployed. In this essay, I will analyse possible causes of this phenomenon and then propose some solutions.02br
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00There are several factors could contribute to the high unemployment rate of graduates. In the first place, the out-of-date teaching method is the root cause. Nowadays, the labor market shows numerous interests on skillful labor, which are the skills that graduate can rarely learn from school since main focus of the school is the basic and fundamental knowledge. In the second place, the recruiter tends to hire more experienced candidates to reduce the training cost and maximize the individual productivity, and this is the major cause of the problem. Obviously, under such circumstance, the new fishes may always stay at the bottom of the job candidate list. Finally, less initiative from student to develop extra skills to cater to job market is the pivotal cause. Knowledge and skills gained from school are not sufficient enough for an individual to tackle problems from work, plus, school is not accountable for providing practical skills; therefore, without develop other skills, students can hardly build their career competence. 02br
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00According, there are several measures can take to tackle the problem. To begin with, school should implement some effective processes to make sure the teaching material is up to date. For instance, school can find out what skills are more useful by look at the trends in job market or pay close attention to technology development, and then update the teaching material based on the finding. Then, the government should take actions to encourage companies provide more job opportunities for new graduates. Specifically, help companies to reduce other cost like tax so that they can use the money to train the new comers. Last but not least, students should be more aware to their career development. For example, student should pay attention to the current situation of the job market and consider if there is anything you are interested, and try to learn about it if you donot have had the skill for the job you are interested, moreover, student can find a similar part time job to gain experiences. Consequently you will be better prepared than others. 02br
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00 To sum up, several causes could trigger this problem. I am convinced that we should take effective manners, including use the up to date material, encourage the companies offer more opportunities for new graduates and increase individual awareness to one's career development, to mitigate this morden-day problem.0-