Help needed with law school personal statment

Here's a draft of my law school personal statement. I found it very difficult to write about myself and am not pleased with what I have so far. I must find a way to reduce it to two or three double spaced pages and make it both entertaining and compelling, compelling in the sense that admissions committee readers will say, "We want this guy."
You may or may not be able to offer suggestions on how to accomplish this.
I hope some of your replies will be helpful. I will sincerely appreciate any effort you make.
I'll gladly thank major assistance with a token of my grattitude, such a bottle of wine or case of German beer.
Thanks for any consideration.
...
My younger brother and I were born to xx and xx, a former nun and a devout atheist. Fortunately, both of our parents were intelligent and fundamentally decent people. Unfortunately, they were both irresponsible and emotionally troubled to an unusual degree. I grew up taking care of my brother as we moved from one trailer park to another. From the time I was seven and he four, I was his primary caretaker. With my parents recently divorced, and my mother working extra hours and involved with various men, I was the one entrusted with the responsibility of taking care of Joey. I start my personal statement with this aspect of my life because it illustrates my beginnings and the essence of who I am, and because bringing up my brother is the accomplishment of which I am most proud.
Growing up with a slightly crazy mother and the responsibility of raising a child three years younger than me was difficult, but I didn't know that at the time. I accepted the burden, and the blame when anything went wrong, without question. I had a child's faith in his mother's reality, and I also loved my brother very much. He loved me deeply too and was very dependent on me-I could not let him down.
Joey was a gentle, quiet, blond-haired, blue-eyed boy with a severe speech impediment that made his speech unintelligible to most people. He had a very deep voice, uncharacteristic of a child, and was very large and uncoordinated for his age. My mother believed him to be slightly retarded.
He could play quietly for hours with a couple of plastic toy figures, content in his imaginary world, but he became frustrated and ashamed when he tried to interact with other kids, who sometimes made fun of him. That's where I came in. He had complete and utter faith in me, and when I told him he was great and that he was just as good as anyone else, he believed me totally. Even at that young age, I knew enough to see to it that Joey had a positive self-esteem.
He was such a sweet boy! When he was given candy in kindergarten, he would often keep half of it to give to me when he got home.I looked after Joey every day. We sometimes had a babysitter, but usually not. I walked him home from school holding his hand. Making sure we had enough to eat was sometimes a challenge. The refrigerator was often bare. There was, however, usually a jug of milk. My mother often bought a few gallon jugs at a time. She believed milk had all the properties of solid food yet was more convenient. Dressing in clean clothes was a problem, because we were dependent on Mom to get to a laundry mat, and because our clothes often smelled of urine Joe had a bedwetting problem until his mid-teens, and Joe, the dog & cat, and I all shared the same bed.

Our water heater didn't work and so Joe and I did not always bathe in the morning. There were occasions when school teachers tried to reach our mother because they thought Joe was soiling his pants at school. (One of these incidents occurred because, after seeing the movie Jaws, Joey was afraid to take showers by himself.) Fleas were also a continuous problem; we frequently found them in our hair and under our clothes while at school.
I got average grades in school but never did my homework and was usually distracted in class. Joey's speech improved to the point that he was usually understood, but he was considered slow, kept a grade behind, and put in the classes for slower students, where little was expected of him.
Our real father showed a sporadic interest in our lives and on one occasion took us to be tested in a free program at the nearby University of xx.
My mother disapproved. She was certain that the news about Joey would be bad, indicate brain damage, which she suspected occurred when he was an infant. She broke into tears when the child psychologist who tested Joey began with "I'm sorry to have to tell you this.." She then went into a different kind of emotional shock when he finished, "..but Joey's I.Q. is just below the 135 needed for the program."Turned out my little brother wasn't retarded after all. Of course, I had known that all along. He and I both had learning disabilities, his worse than mine. The psychologist explained that my condition probably hadn't been apparent because it wasn't severe and because my I.Q. was so high-well above the program minimum (another shock for my mother). To this day, both Joe and I suffer a bit from it. In my case, my visual processing speed is still about the 9th grade level.

I am usually one of the last ones done on any test, and often don't finish every question. On the LSAT, for example, I completed only a single section before the allotted time expired, and there was one section in which I only got to half the questions. (If you look at my LSAT score sheet you will see C's all the way down the line.) Both Joe and I take pride in functioning well without special treatment.
That psychologist arranged for Joey to participate in a free program at UXX. I went with him and sat quietly behind a one-way mirror as some very kind and competent graduate students worked with him for hours day in and day out, and by the end of the summer, Joey's speech problem was all but completely gone. I will always feel a debt of gratitude to those folks at UXX.
I wish I could say that everything went well after that. Truth is we moved around a lot, had abusive step-parents, and a few other problems children shouldn't experience.
When I was a junior in high school circumstances forced me out on my own. I struggled to support myself and go to school at the same time. I succeeded for a year but when a storm flooded the place that I rented and destroyed my few belongings, I quit school and joined the army.
The worst thing about that was that Joe followed my example and quit school having only completed 9th grade. That was the last thing I wanted and I was racked with guilt, but I was sent overseas to Germany and no longer had much influence.
One of the best things the army did for me was force me to get a GED. They actually marched a group of us straight past the mess hall, much to our dismay, and into a classroom building. Some of us had no idea what the test was we were taking. Despite the abrupt way we were introduced to the GED, that decision on the part of the battalion or post commander, or perhaps by someone in D.C., is something else for which I feel a debt of gratitude.
Over the next eight months I excelled in basic and advanced training. I had the highest scores in the battalion on the common tasks, as they called them, skills that ranged from grenades to identifying foreign aircraft and tanks by silhouette. At my permanent duty station, I became the youngest and lowest ranked soldier to be given a team and was awarded a few medals.
I also got to see Europe and to meet peoples of other cultures. When I got to Europe, I devoted a lot of my free time to travel. I visited most Western European nations. To say that the experience broadened my horizons is an understatement.
After my tour was up, I returned to XX. I found my brother working construction and began to help him prepare for the GED. He struggled. Not due to lack of intelligence, but because his education was even poorer than mine. In mathematics he didn't understand such basics as the concept of negative numbers or how to add and multiply fractions. I applied to the University of xx, which I held in high regard because of their assistance to Joe when he was small, and Joe applied to the local community college. We were both accepted, and I used some of the money I had saved in the army to pay for our tuition and books. (I had saved half of every check for three years.)
My acceptance at UXX was provisional. Because I lacked a high school diploma, I was accepted on academic probation. Again, another program to which I remain indebted.
College life suited me perfectly. I began classes as a man, with a mature dedication to my studies that I had lacked in grade school. I was surprised to discover, however, how much I loved my classes and how effortless it was. At one point I recall feeling bewildered when I noticed that half of my Conceptual Physics class was skipping-there was no place in the world, at that moment, that I myself would rather have been.
I loved school. Loved learning. Loved the discourse of ideas. I read unassigned chapters and actively engaged in discussions with my professors and fellow students. I was well-known to all my professors, even in classes of several hundred, and I regularly got the highest grade in class.After the first two semesters, I decided that what I wanted was to have as well-rounded an education as possible, to be as close to a renaissance man as I could become. I had until then taken classes that I thought were important to a well-rounded education and classes in areas that I felt particularly lacking. The university, despite being one of the largest in the state, did not offer a true liberal arts degree.

So, I met with the Dean of Arts & Sciences and he agreed that one should be available. He asked me to design a curriculum and to ask several professors to serve as an overseeing committee. I did, and they accepted my course selection for the remaining years with only a few changes. The Liberal Studies degree with which I graduated became a permanent program in use today.I became active in student organizations and the community. I joined student government and became Chief Justice of the Student Government Supreme Court my junior year. I was also President of the Pre-Law Honor Society, and an active member in several other societies and organizations. I arranged speaking events on political and social issues and arranged radio and television news coverage. I developed and implemented a program between the county schools and the university wherein political science students visited public schools and spoke to classes of children on the subjects of government and citizenship, in an effort to reduce apathy in the younger generations of today.

I received numerous scholarships and memberships in organizations, some so selective that they only took twenty or so students a year. I was named Junior of the Year by the Golden Key Honor Society and awarded a certificate on stage by a state senator. Etc.
During my time in college I also worked full time or close to it and took care of my mother and later my father when he was in a car accident and needed shelves lowered, a ramp built, and other wheelchair accessibility modifications.
I maintained a perfect cumulative GPA of 4.0 through to graduation.
At the graduations ceremony, before an audience that filled the Sun Dome, I was awarded the King Oneal award for graduating with all A's and was presented a medal by the President of the University. In my speech to that audience I took the opportunity to thank the university for accepting me on academic probation and giving me a chance. I also took the opportunity to thank the university for the extensive free help my brother had received years ago from those incredible graduate students in that wonderful speech therapy program and the difference it had made in his life.
You see, Joe, the unintelligible child once presumed retarded, ended up excelling in college as I did, himself graduating with honors, heading organizations, and even eloquently delivering public speeches-delivering an award to the mayor in one. He had also become a hell of a nice guy, a person who others instantly liked because of genuineness and good-natured wit, and his thoughtful empathy for others.
In his graduation speech, when he accepted an award, he thanked me for being more like a father than a brother during our childhood and for helping him to become who he was today. I was moved to tears, as, surprisingly, I am now typing this.I'd like to close this essay on that note, but I should mention a few other accomplishments that may reflect positively on my law school related abilities. During college and since, I started and ran an internet company. I also started a non-profit organization to help sexually exploited *** children around the world. While running the organization of 70 volunteer law enforcement officers-mostly detectives in computer crime and crimes against children units-I built a network of agencies around the world.

We received letters of appreciation from dozens of agencies around the world for the resources and assistance we provided. I even got a letter from Scotland Yard thanking me for the best instructions on tracking Internet child pornography merchants they had seen. CNN and other news sites routinely linked our organization's site in their online articles. I've also been active in other areas, ranging from working in support of the McCain Feingold bill to successfully-through a campaign of letters to the editor, letters to the county commission, and conversations with the Director of Animal Services, and proposals using successful out-of-state models-increasing the number of dogs adopted out by the county animal services.
I hope you will give me the opportunity to study law with you at Cornell. Not only do I love the subject-matter and the academic discourse of ideas, but I believe I will be able to use the knowledge you provide and the law degree to significantly contribute to society. I've read that many say that but end up taking high-paying corporate positions. I will not lose sight of my original motivation for becoming an attorney. I have always measured success by meaningful contribution to society, not financial gain, and I regard time spent solely in the pursuit of money as time wasted.
Please give me the opportunity to learn from you everything I can, and the foundation from which to benefit others.