Help me with writing task 1 - academic (2)

Question

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

The line chart illustrates the number of people daily commuting on three types of different vehicles in Britain from 1970 to 2030.

Overall, there is a significant increase in travelling by cars and trains whereas UK commuters have a tendency to go by buses less and less, with equal travelling by buses and trains on average in the middle of the year 2010 and 2020.

In detail, in the first year of the period, the number of the British using trains to travel each day was about 2 millions, while above 3 millions people chose to go by buses and cars, at 4 and 5 millions respectively. From 1970 to 2020, there was a steady linear incline in UK commuters travelling by trains and cars, with above 7 millions of people commuting on cars every day in 2020, which accounted for the highest rate of three value, and reaching 9 millions of people in 2030.

In contrast, the number of people going by buses went slightly down, by 1,000,000 commuters over a 60-year period. In 2015, 3.5 millions UK people used trains to commute as same as the ones commuting on the buses.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I just gave feedback on this same task 1 for another student. You make the same mistakes.

I will copy some of my comments from it.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/CouldReviewEssay/bpkkmp/post.htm

ngoclaThe line chart illustrates

There is a bar chart, a pie chart, an eye chart, an organization chart and a flow chart. There is no such thing as a line chart.

Learn the correct names of these figures.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. (there is a list included.)

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Illustrate means "make a picture". Use it for diagrams and pictures or flow charts. It is not a good word for this type of figure.

ngoclathree types of different vehicles

What are they?

ngoclafrom 1970 to 2030.

You have actual data for some of these years, but how do they have the data for the future?

Here is a sample opening paragraph:

The line graph compares / plots / shows /gives (any of these verbs are good for a line graph) the numbers of British workers who commute each day to work by each of three means of transportation: car, bus and train. The data is given from 1970 to the present day, with a forecast to 2030. (I start a new sentence because putting all these words in the first would make it too long and awkward. )

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The line chart illustrates the number of people daily commuting daily by on three types of different vehicles in Britain from 1970 to 2030.

See previous reply.

Overall, there is a significant increase in travelling by cars and trains whereas UK commuters have a tendency to go by buses less and less, with equal travelling (That does not make sense) by buses and trains on average in the middle of the year 2010 and 2020. (Incorrect. Which year do you mean - 2010 or 2020? "The year" is one year. The middle of the year 2010 is June, 2010.

This sentence is very awkward. Each sentence should have one idea only. You have never told the reader that the data after the present (between 2020 and 2030) is not actual measured data. )

Sample paragraph: Note that I pick out three main ideas from the information in the graph. Each idea is in a separate sentence. Also, you get extra points if you combine data and make comparisons.

Overall, the number of commuters is forecast to increase from 11 million in 1970 to 17 million in 2030. Most of that increase is attributed to the use of cars, rising from 5 to 9 million over the period. While commuting by train is also trending upwards, busses are becoming much less popular. In fact, they have been on a steady decline to date, which is predicted to continue.

In detail, in the first year of the period, the number of ~~the~~ British using trains to travel each day was about 2 millions, (wrong form for the units.) while above 3 millions people chose to go by buses and cars, at 4 and 5 millions respectively. From 1970 to 2020, there was a steady linear rise ~~incline~~ (wrong word. An incline is a ramp.) in the number of UK commuters travelling by trains and cars, with above 7 millions of people commuting on (wrong word) cars every day in 2020, which accounted for the highest rate (wrong word. There are no rates on this graph, but you could calculate them from the data.) of three value, (wrong expression) and reaching 9 millions of people in 2030.

In contrast, the number of people going by buses went slightly down, by 1,000,000 ~~commuters~~ over a (wrong word - "a 60-year period" is any period of 60 years, such as 1900-1960 or 1540-1600) 60-year period. In 2015, 3.5 millions UK people used trains to commute as same as the ones (The people were not the same people. They were different people.) commuting on the buses.

Units:

The correct use of units is as follows:

One thousand trips.
Two thousand trips.
Fifty thousand trips.

One million trips.
Ten million trips.

Seven billion people.
One billion people.

When there are no numbers, then the plural form is used.

Millions of people go to the UK each year on holiday.
Three million people visit London every summer.

Rates:

If you have time to spare during the exam, you can calculate rates of increase or decrease and use these derived numbers in your essay. Here is an example of the rate of decrease for bus commuters. Since the curve is linear, the rate is the same for any time interval in the period.

Help me with writing task 1 - academic (2)

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