Help me with my writing, please!

Question

Guys, please help me correct my writing task 1.

I always find it difficult with this task.

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The tables illustrate the students’ average age at a college and if they were satisfied with their credential and degree courses.

Overall, most students learned certificates at the younger age and were happier compared to those who did diplomas. Furthermore, the percentage for happy levels of certificate students decreased accordingly and was nearly opposite to that of degrees.

It is clear from the first table that 73 percent of certificate learners felt highly pleased with their courses in contrast with diplomas at 5 per cent. The majority of degree students were unhappy and very unhappy at 42 per cent and 41 percent respectively in comparison with 10 per cent and 1 per cent unhappy and very unhappy for certificates.

The second table demonstrates that learners doing certificates aged between 15 and 25 accounted for 79 per cent in opposition to degrees (17 per cent), whilst the age for most students studying diplomas (62 per cent) was older at the age between 25 and 35. In addition, the percentage of students who studied certificates decreased dramatically according to their age (as few as 1 or 2 per cent for students aged from 35).

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

The tables illustrate (wrong word for tables) the students’ average age at a college and if they were satisfied with their ~~credential and degree~~ courses. (You did not describe the tables in such a way that the reader will know what they look like and what data they contain. For example, you did not say there were two of them. You did not say how the tables were different from each other.)

Overall, most students learned (wrong word. We do not learn certificates. We learn math, science and other subjects.) certificates at the younger age and were happier compared to those who did diplomas. Furthermore, the percentage for happy levels of certificate students decreased accordingly (that makes no sense.) and was nearly opposite to that of degrees.

~~It is clear from~~ In the first table ~~that~~ 73 percent of certificate learners felt highly pleased with their courses in contrast with diplomas at 5 per cent. The majority of degree students were unhappy and very unhappy at 42 per cent and 41 percent respectively in comparison with 10 per cent and 1 per cent unhappy and very unhappy for certificates.

The second table demonstrates that learners doing certificates aged between 15 and 25 accounted for 79 per cent in opposition to degrees (17 per cent), whilst the age for most students studying diplomas (We do not study diplomas.) (62 per cent) was older at the age between 25 and 35. In addition, the percentage of students who studied certificates decreased dramatically according to their age (as few as 1 or 2 per cent for students aged from 35).

Here is a sample essay for this topic. It is rather long, but gives you an idea of vocabulary, phrases and sentences for essays based on tables.

There are two tables with data about students in a college that has two degree programs: one that leads to a certificate and the other to a diploma. The first table lists four categories of happiness (very unhappy to very happy) and the percentage of students in that category. The table also divides the students by their degree program: certificate or diploma. The second table lists four different age ranges and what percentage of students fell in each range. This table also further divides the students between the two degree programs.

Overall, the level of happiness was much higher for students who were working towards a certificate than a diploma. The students working towards a certificate were much younger than their counterparts in the diploma program.

In particular, nearly 9 of every 10 students in the certificate program were happy or very happy, compared to only 17% of the students in the diploma program. In contrast, over 8 in every 10 students in the diploma program were unhappy or very unhappy. In terms of age, more than three-quarters of the students in the certificate program were under age 25, and 97% were under age 35, whereas less than 2 in every 10 in the diploma program were in that age range. Eight of every ten students in the diploma program were between 26 and 45 years old. Only 1-2 percent of all students, regardless of degree, were over the age of 45.

Dr Weedy · Answer

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KarinaLost23 · Answer

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Help me with my writing, please!

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