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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
Help me with my Sonnet
Can anybody please help me with my Sonnet? This is a first attempt and I need to say this during my wedding in a few days!
I now here stand in front of you and all,
providing thou my deep and truest vow.
No matter when or where our lives befall,
to always keep these words I utter now.
Although we only have but shortly known,
our souls both knew a close connection past.
And since agree this love has more than grown
into something that will forever last.
This lasting feeling brought us both to here.
Where I stand proud before you ready be
thru times of good or bad, thru gloom or cheer,
to join my life with yours as family.
So I hereby now pledge and take my cue
to live by words I promise thee be true.
Be true to you by strong and ever respect
and fully open my eyes my mind and heart
your needs and bod I will always protect
thru lifes long path thy side I'll never part.
Be honest ever and seek to be forthright
thru years to come and share my inner soul
although it may at times fill me with fright
I here now freely give my body whole
I'll be your friend and be your lover still
as time may pass and fortune may not smile
thru trials and tragedy to you I will
be next to like together down this aisle.
Fore'r in hearts in minds in souls remain
till all can join in thy somber refrain.
Thanks,
Stephen
I now here stand in front of you and all,
providing thou my deep and truest vow.
No matter when or where our lives befall,
to always keep these words I utter now.
Although we only have but shortly known,
our souls both knew a close connection past.
And since agree this love has more than grown
into something that will forever last.
This lasting feeling brought us both to here.
Where I stand proud before you ready be
thru times of good or bad, thru gloom or cheer,
to join my life with yours as family.
So I hereby now pledge and take my cue
to live by words I promise thee be true.
Be true to you by strong and ever respect
and fully open my eyes my mind and heart
your needs and bod I will always protect
thru lifes long path thy side I'll never part.
Be honest ever and seek to be forthright
thru years to come and share my inner soul
although it may at times fill me with fright
I here now freely give my body whole
I'll be your friend and be your lover still
as time may pass and fortune may not smile
thru trials and tragedy to you I will
be next to like together down this aisle.
Fore'r in hearts in minds in souls remain
till all can join in thy somber refrain.
Thanks,
Stephen
Top answer
Poetry isn't my strength, but I can tell that you have put considerable effort, with a good amount of success, into this sonnet. I feel, however, that it reads more like an "exercise" than a love poem. I have a feeling that if you were to put these words into prose it could be quite a lovely piece, a firm statment of your love, and a strong commitment to your spouse.
- Poetry isn't my strength, but I can tell that you have put considerable effort, with a good amount of success, into this sonnet.
- I feel, however, that it reads more like an "exercise" than a love poem.
- I have a feeling that if you were to put these words into prose it could be quite a lovely piece, a firm statment of your love, and a strong commitment to your spouse.
- I would be glad to help you with that.
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1 Answers
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Poetry isn't my strength, but I can tell that you have put considerable effort, with a good amount of success, into this sonnet. I feel, however, that it reads more like an "exercise" than a love poem. I have a feeling that if you were to put these words into prose it could be quite a lovely piece, a firm statment of your love, and a strong commitment to your spouse. I would be glad to help yo
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