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Oren Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
help me with my essay
hi, please help me and correct any grammar/spelling mistakes
The Lord of War
During the last decade we saw a major rise at the global terror, the growth at the global terror couldn’t be succeed if it didn't have the exact equipment, this essay going to explain the main reason for the increase at the terror.
In these days if a terror organization want to take an action, the first thing he need to get is big amount of weapon. In the past it was very hard to get illegal arms but today it's very easy, you just need to have a certain amount of money.
To illustrate how easy is to buy and traffic illegal weapon I want to talk about a movie I saw two weeks ago, the movie called "the lord of war" the movie is about An immigrant with a dream and a vision works hard and becomes wealthy and successful, and after a few years he succeed but Unfortunately, all of this is built on selling hundreds of millions of dollars of illegal weapons to the very last people in the world we would trust. Yuri Orlav (the immigrant) main goal is to make money and we can see this main goal is beyond even his moral and his Common Sense, when at one point he decided to sell weapon even the enemy of his State.
The movie is based on actual events, and show raises provocative questions about the effect of illegal arms sales on the wider problem of global violence. The film is also indicate that USA not only that don’t try to prevent the trafficking but even being involve in the proliferation of weapons in third world hotspots. We can understand from the film how easy it for one man that didn't know anything about guns to become with a lot of desire to number one trader at the black market of illegal arms.
Another social problem that the illegal arms trafficking cause is as we can see sometimes on the news channel that in third countries there are children that possess guns. There are a few reasons for this problem and one of them is being shown at the film, when Yuri Orlav saw that the Interpol going to catch him with big amount of weapon, he gave away all his arms to the children in the village for free, later at the movie we realize that the children use the weapon against each other.
The illegal arms trafficking in these days are getting worst and unless someone going to do something about it, in a few years our world will be a dangerous place to live in.
thanks for the help!!!
The Lord of War
During the last decade we saw a major rise at the global terror, the growth at the global terror couldn’t be succeed if it didn't have the exact equipment, this essay going to explain the main reason for the increase at the terror.
In these days if a terror organization want to take an action, the first thing he need to get is big amount of weapon. In the past it was very hard to get illegal arms but today it's very easy, you just need to have a certain amount of money.
To illustrate how easy is to buy and traffic illegal weapon I want to talk about a movie I saw two weeks ago, the movie called "the lord of war" the movie is about An immigrant with a dream and a vision works hard and becomes wealthy and successful, and after a few years he succeed but Unfortunately, all of this is built on selling hundreds of millions of dollars of illegal weapons to the very last people in the world we would trust. Yuri Orlav (the immigrant) main goal is to make money and we can see this main goal is beyond even his moral and his Common Sense, when at one point he decided to sell weapon even the enemy of his State.
The movie is based on actual events, and show raises provocative questions about the effect of illegal arms sales on the wider problem of global violence. The film is also indicate that USA not only that don’t try to prevent the trafficking but even being involve in the proliferation of weapons in third world hotspots. We can understand from the film how easy it for one man that didn't know anything about guns to become with a lot of desire to number one trader at the black market of illegal arms.
Another social problem that the illegal arms trafficking cause is as we can see sometimes on the news channel that in third countries there are children that possess guns. There are a few reasons for this problem and one of them is being shown at the film, when Yuri Orlav saw that the Interpol going to catch him with big amount of weapon, he gave away all his arms to the children in the village for free, later at the movie we realize that the children use the weapon against each other.
The illegal arms trafficking in these days are getting worst and unless someone going to do something about it, in a few years our world will be a dangerous place to live in.
thanks for the help!!!
Top answer
(This is merely one idea about some grammatical revisions. I hope I didn't over-correct your essay. Though there were mistakes, it was not difficult to understand your intent): The Lord of War During the last decade we saw a major increase in global terror, an increase that could not have occurred without the availability of essential equipment.
- (This is merely one idea about some grammatical revisions.
- I hope I didn't over-correct your essay.
- Though there were mistakes, it was not difficult to understand your intent): The Lord of War During the last decade we saw a major increase in global terror, an increase that could not have occurred without the availability of essential equipment.
- Today, if a terrorist organization wants to carry out an action, it needs to obtain a large supply of weapons.
- In the past, it was very hard to acquire illegal arms, but now it's very easy; you just need to have a lot of money.
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2 Answers
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(This is merely one idea about some grammatical revisions. I hope I didn't over-correct your essay. Though there were mistakes, it was not difficult to understand your intent):
The Lord of War
During the last decade we saw a major increase in global terror, an increase that could not have occurred without the availability of essential equipment.
The Lord of War
During the last decade we saw a major increase in global terror, an increase that could not have occurred without the availability of essential equipment.
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thank u very very much davkett,
and u didnt over-correct the essay...
have a lovely day
and u didnt over-correct the essay...
have a lovely day
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