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Bilsonx Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Help Me! Will someone please edit my paragraph?

Ok well I fixed most of the basic stuff you said. Could you maybe tell me how i could fix the others?



My first Wreck in my new car



My friend Brandon and I was driving home from school one day when I had my frist wreck in my new car. I was driving down North point Rd., the roads were really bad, I did not go over forty miles an hour on the way up to Zanesville and I was continuing to not go over forty miles an hour on the way home. A semi was driving toward me and I didn’t think anything of it, but when he passed me the wind from his truck pushed the front of my car and cause me to lose control, I tried my best to save it but there was no hope, We spun around in circles a few times and slid off the road and down over a steep hill. After the car stopped me and Brandon started laughing for some reason, I think it was just because we were happy to be alive. After we got done laughing and came back to our since we got out of the car and attempted to walk up the hill that the car had just slid down, I got halfway up it and slid back down and fell over my car onto the other side, Brandon was laughing. It was a little painful but I did not get seriously hurt. Then I attempted to get up the hill again and somehow succeeded. When I got to the top of the hill my friend Michael’s dad Joe was standing there and asked if we were ok. He called 911 for us and reported it while I called the tow truck to get us out. After we waited in Joe’s truck for an hour the cops finally showed up, I was kind of scared that I was going to get sided for the wreck and get a ticket, but when the cop noticed that there was no damage done to my car he said he didn’t even need to fill out a report, and as long as I had a tow truck coming they were leaving. Once the cops left we had to wait another twenty minutes in Joe’s truck before the tow truck got there. He pulled my car up the hill for us and we headed home. I am just happy that my car was not damaged nor was Brandon and I hurt. After this close call I have learned to drive super careful in the snow and slow down when bigger size vehicles are passing when the weather conditions are bad.

  

Top answer

Me and my friend Brandon was driving home from school one day when I had my frist wreck in my new car. , the roads were really bad, I did not go over fourty miles an hour on the way up to Zanesville and I was continuing to not go over fourty miles an hour on the way home. A semi was driving toward me and I didnt think anything of it , but when he passwed me the wind from his truck pushed the front of my car and cause me to lose control, I tried my best to save it but there was no hope, We spun around in circles a few times and slid off the road and down over a steep hill.

  • Me and my friend Brandon was driving home from school one day when I had my frist wreck in my new car.
  • , the roads were really bad, I did not go over fourty miles an hour on the way up to Zanesville and I was continuing to not go over fourty miles an hour on the way home.
  • A semi was driving toward me and I didnt think anything of it , but when he passwed me the wind from his truck pushed the front of my car and cause me to lose control, I tried my best to save it but there was no hope, We spun around in circles a few times and slid off the road and down over a steep hill.
  • After the car stopped me and Brandon started laughing for some reason, I think it was just because we were happy to be alive.
  • After we got done laughing and came back to our sinces we got out of the car and attempted to walk up the hill that the car had just slid down, I got halfway up it and slid back down and fell over my car onto the other side, Brandon was laughing.
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3 Answers
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Me and my friend Brandon was driving home from school one day when I had my frist wreck in my new car. I was driving down Northpoint Rd., the roads were really bad, I did not go over fourty miles an hour on the way up to Zanesville and I was continuing to not go over fourty miles an hour on the way home. A semi
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BilsonxOk well I fixed most of the basic stuff you said. Could you maybe tell me how i could fix the others?



My first Wreck in my new car



My friend Brandon and I was [plural subjects!] driving home from school one day when I had my
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