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Escy Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing
help me to proof read my letter
0 Dear moderator, 02 br
02 br
00 I really need your help to proof-read my motivation letter below; each paragraph has its own word limitation. Please help me to eliminate inappropriate words, thanks. 02 br
02 br
00 Has to be in 01 b 00 50 words 02 b 00 02 br
02 br
00 Getting to know different cultures and habits as well as languages, correspondents strongly to my nature, that is why I see my strong points in the field of communication. Thus, applying in English department was great opportunity to broaden my horizon and gain direct access of the International knowledge that will enhance my communication skill. 55 02 br
02 br
00 Has to be 01 b 00 50 words 02 b 00 ( 01 b 00 the choice of your current job) 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Ever since I leaved in *** , I had to earn money to pay my tuition and daily expense, and also company which flexibly accepted an employee entitled as a colleague student as well. *** suits the criteria and to my surprise I have been learning knowledge in business-related-area of which I never got during my study year. Stepping up to the professional worlds with English language in hands, then I grab knowledge – business. (75) Advice, were they a good consideration? 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 100 words the relevance of the chosen program to the current development of your organization (long term development plan) and the sector you work in. 02 b 00 02 br
02 br
00 *** was established solely to assist *** producers to find international buyers through market linkages to other parts of the world where providing fare access to export opportunities are needed and to support sustainable employment. Although currently we are concentrating on the developing access for local suppliers to opportunities in the *** and ***, the model is going to be duplicated to other part of xxx 00 00 such as ***, ***, *** or ***. As such, there will be need for the company to be able to also adept itself in different cultures and ways of doing business as well as dealing with different people. I am hoping that by learning International Business and Management in the *** will prepare me for the said challenge. 127 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 100 words how the chosen study will benefit *** in general. 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 As we know *** consists of 17.000 islands with multi-ethnicity and numerous backgrounds. *** has been undergoing economic crisis over past decades leaving many societies at the crucial ends of being unemployed which then effect on any-related-yet-important-factor, such as education and welfare. I want to play my small role in developing ***’s economically in general by creating job opportunity in the small business, supporting local supplier with the business strategy, and sharing my knowledge by teaching children. Thus, with my past background, skills and experiences acquired in the business world and my MBA studies I definitely want to give them back to my country. 104 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 Has to be in 50 words 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 I am highly motivated to work in a management role either in the public sector or private businesses. Also, I am hoping to establish my own business and an orphanage. In addition, by exploring more ***’s richness of natural resources will be a great investment for creating job opportunity to support *** welfare. This way, I could apply and combine the technical knowledge I have acquired through my master degree that I would learn in International business and management. 79 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 150 words things you have done that prove you are the right candidate for scholarship. 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Coming from a broken home family with ups and downs of life since a very early age has built strong fundamental character which then leads me to be a hard working person and very determined to perform the best out of me to achieve my dreams. At the second semester in my initial degree, I took a radio host as my first free-lance job, then in the next couple months I landed up to work as teacher and several side jobs which then allowed me to pay my own tuition. Performing two duties at the same time didn’t easy at all; however I could manage them very well and was really proud that I completed my bachelor degree getting cum laude. Then, I came to *** to get my undergraduate degree and also found a job in which I could pay my tuition and all daily expense. The same things happened; again I completed my undergraduate degree very well as an outstanding student amongst the English literature faculty. During these two years in my professional world working as Research Marketing Representatives in which I am entitled to develop an on-line business linkage has contributed knowledge in business and management related fields and also given me opportunity to work directly with the local suppliers in terms of product capacity. I met various suppliers that some of them are low-income entrepreneur with limited management and trading knowledge. I am hoping to share knowledge acquired from my International business and management studies to those local suppliers in which they will be well-trained in the international market trade. 02 br
02 br
00 On last part, perhaps what I could draw the bullet points such as: 02 br
01 ol
02 br
00 Oh ya, Happy easter to you all. 02 br
02 br
00 Cheers, 02 br
02 br
00 JS 02 br
02 br
0-
02 br
00 I really need your help to proof-read my motivation letter below; each paragraph has its own word limitation. Please help me to eliminate inappropriate words, thanks. 02 br
02 br
00 Has to be in 01 b 00 50 words 02 b 00 02 br
02 br
00 Getting to know different cultures and habits as well as languages, correspondents strongly to my nature, that is why I see my strong points in the field of communication. Thus, applying in English department was great opportunity to broaden my horizon and gain direct access of the International knowledge that will enhance my communication skill. 55 02 br
02 br
00 Has to be 01 b 00 50 words 02 b 00 ( 01 b 00 the choice of your current job) 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Ever since I leaved in *** , I had to earn money to pay my tuition and daily expense, and also company which flexibly accepted an employee entitled as a colleague student as well. *** suits the criteria and to my surprise I have been learning knowledge in business-related-area of which I never got during my study year. Stepping up to the professional worlds with English language in hands, then I grab knowledge – business. (75) Advice, were they a good consideration? 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 100 words the relevance of the chosen program to the current development of your organization (long term development plan) and the sector you work in. 02 b 00 02 br
02 br
00 *** was established solely to assist *** producers to find international buyers through market linkages to other parts of the world where providing fare access to export opportunities are needed and to support sustainable employment. Although currently we are concentrating on the developing access for local suppliers to opportunities in the *** and ***, the model is going to be duplicated to other part of xxx 00 00 such as ***, ***, *** or ***. As such, there will be need for the company to be able to also adept itself in different cultures and ways of doing business as well as dealing with different people. I am hoping that by learning International Business and Management in the *** will prepare me for the said challenge. 127 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 100 words how the chosen study will benefit *** in general. 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 As we know *** consists of 17.000 islands with multi-ethnicity and numerous backgrounds. *** has been undergoing economic crisis over past decades leaving many societies at the crucial ends of being unemployed which then effect on any-related-yet-important-factor, such as education and welfare. I want to play my small role in developing ***’s economically in general by creating job opportunity in the small business, supporting local supplier with the business strategy, and sharing my knowledge by teaching children. Thus, with my past background, skills and experiences acquired in the business world and my MBA studies I definitely want to give them back to my country. 104 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 Has to be in 50 words 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 I am highly motivated to work in a management role either in the public sector or private businesses. Also, I am hoping to establish my own business and an orphanage. In addition, by exploring more ***’s richness of natural resources will be a great investment for creating job opportunity to support *** welfare. This way, I could apply and combine the technical knowledge I have acquired through my master degree that I would learn in International business and management. 79 02 br
02 br
01 b 00 150 words things you have done that prove you are the right candidate for scholarship. 02 b 02 br
02 br
00 Coming from a broken home family with ups and downs of life since a very early age has built strong fundamental character which then leads me to be a hard working person and very determined to perform the best out of me to achieve my dreams. At the second semester in my initial degree, I took a radio host as my first free-lance job, then in the next couple months I landed up to work as teacher and several side jobs which then allowed me to pay my own tuition. Performing two duties at the same time didn’t easy at all; however I could manage them very well and was really proud that I completed my bachelor degree getting cum laude. Then, I came to *** to get my undergraduate degree and also found a job in which I could pay my tuition and all daily expense. The same things happened; again I completed my undergraduate degree very well as an outstanding student amongst the English literature faculty. During these two years in my professional world working as Research Marketing Representatives in which I am entitled to develop an on-line business linkage has contributed knowledge in business and management related fields and also given me opportunity to work directly with the local suppliers in terms of product capacity. I met various suppliers that some of them are low-income entrepreneur with limited management and trading knowledge. I am hoping to share knowledge acquired from my International business and management studies to those local suppliers in which they will be well-trained in the international market trade. 02 br
02 br
00 On last part, perhaps what I could draw the bullet points such as: 02 br
01 ol
- 02 br
- 00 Affect of my tough life : Hard working, Determining, studious and curious, Independent -> earning money and pay my tuition. 02 li 02 br
- 00 Educational aspects : Diploma 3, graduated Cuma laude, Under graduate degree, got best achievement 02 li 02 br
- 00 Professional works : Radio host, English teacher, Tour guide, Financial Consultant in Allianze Insurance Company, Training in public relations ***, Administrative Services, Marketing Research Representatives and stock representatives. 02 li 02 ol
01 li
01 li
01 li
02 br
00 Oh ya, Happy easter to you all. 02 br
02 br
00 Cheers, 02 br
02 br
00 JS 02 br
02 br
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Top answer
and I always said that to the teachers when we have school meeting or when I collected the reports and speak to them and then the teachers will say YES i will keep you informed. I really and truly am saying that the responsibility go both ways when my child in the school from 8:00AM – 3:30PM that we must be involved yes Ziyaad is responsible for this outcome he must also take responsibility for his actions and face the consequences as a parent I teach my children that as well but I really and honestly feel that this was not just a one way street and I have confidence in Ziyaad ability and he can do so much more and he will do that with a much better support structure to help him. And I am really not saying that anyone is to blame and not pointing fingers at all what I am saying is that we failed in providing the learner with the most appropriate solution to help him find his way to the next grade.
- and I always said that to the teachers when we have school meeting or when I collected the reports and speak to them and then the teachers will say YES i will keep you informed.
- I really and truly am saying that the responsibility go both ways when my child in the school from 8:00AM – 3:30PM that we must be involved yes Ziyaad is responsible for this outcome he must also take responsibility for his actions and face the consequences as a parent I teach my children that as well but I really and honestly feel that this was not just a one way street and I have confidence in Ziyaad ability and he can do so much more and he will do that with a much better support structure to help him.
- And I am really not saying that anyone is to blame and not pointing fingers at all what I am saying is that we failed in providing the learner with the most appropriate solution to help him find his way to the next grade.
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1 Answers
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and I always said that to the teachers when we have school meeting or when I collected the reports and speak to them and then the teachers will say YES i will keep you informed. I really and truly am saying that the responsibility go both ways when my child in the school from 8:00AM – 3:30PM that we must be involved yes Ziyaad is responsible for this outcome he must also take responsibility fo
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