Help me to evaluate my writing task 2 ( ver2)

Hi I want to re-up my post due to some errors in the last post

These days, humans are all concerned about health problems, some individuals feel that the most effective method in ameliorating health is to do exercise every day. I strongly agree with the idea that doing exercise is the key to good health. Additionally, I believe that it is also vital for humanity to have and build their own balanced diet.

On the one hand, exercise is an important part of maintaining people's health, but there are other factors that need to be considered such as diet and emotional wellbeing. This will show responsibility to their health since it is an obvious way to tackle the disease. As an illustration, people can lose weight significantly. Then, they will avoid many kinds of illness related to being overweight such as obesity or high blood pressure. Furthermore, if we do physical activities regularly, then it will provide us with lots of energy. Consequently, your emotions, as well as motivation might be improved, so you will be able to work all day productively. On the other hand, this technique will ensure that you can get a better lifestyle unless you overdo it. In other words, you should not do exercise excessively.

While exercise is one part of staying healthy, I believe diet is also extremely important if not more important than exercise. For instance, you should follow the instructions of a dietician to organize your everyday portion sizes. This method will ensure that you will absorb large quantities of the essential nutrients from your food and so it enables you to have a much better fitness since your health is determined by what you eat. Besides, these nutrients can also help to ease the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Moreover, a good diet is crucial for adolescents and children whose bodies require a lot of nutrients for growth.

In conclusion, to address an increasing population of unfit, overweight people, changing the lifestyle by doing exercise is the easiest and most effective way to use. Likewise, having a healthy diet also should be considered.

It is a pleasure if you mark my essay too!!!