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Kagomi Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
HELP .. ME .. PLEASE..???!! WITH MY SHORT WRITING
Hi everyone,
I need help with my writing . I have difficulty in fixing it, so I'll be greatful if anyone helped me.
I will explain a liitle bet about my writing .. first we sould see a picture, then write about it.
This is the picture which is about child labor in India.
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and this is my weak writing lol ^_* any volunteer can help be. You can add what you see it better for me if you want..
The picture represents a girl which is considered a child labor. She does not have the opportunity to go to school and learn like other children because she is poor and she should work instead of going to school to earn money and buy the basic need for her family to survive. She is an illiterate girl who sell a study material which is written in English language, that mean the globalization has reached India but does not effected all the people. This girl she is probably does not know English language and what she is selling show us that global language which is English spread even in Poor County like India. I think that globalization is a negative phenomenon because even though the development and modernization there still poor people who fight against poor and good example for this is the poor girl which is sitting down in bad environment and there are millions who are suffered from child labor like her. We noticed that although of modernization and globalization she still wearing a traditional cloth that means it does not affected all the people and most of them have strong identity.
I need help with my writing . I have difficulty in fixing it, so I'll be greatful if anyone helped me.
I will explain a liitle bet about my writing .. first we sould see a picture, then write about it.
This is the picture which is about child labor in India.
------
and this is my weak writing lol ^_* any volunteer can help be. You can add what you see it better for me if you want..
The picture represents a girl which is considered a child labor. She does not have the opportunity to go to school and learn like other children because she is poor and she should work instead of going to school to earn money and buy the basic need for her family to survive. She is an illiterate girl who sell a study material which is written in English language, that mean the globalization has reached India but does not effected all the people. This girl she is probably does not know English language and what she is selling show us that global language which is English spread even in Poor County like India. I think that globalization is a negative phenomenon because even though the development and modernization there still poor people who fight against poor and good example for this is the poor girl which is sitting down in bad environment and there are millions who are suffered from child labor like her. We noticed that although of modernization and globalization she still wearing a traditional cloth that means it does not affected all the people and most of them have strong identity.
Top answer
Hello, I think you need to go through and shorten a lot of your sentences for a start. A girl cannot be child labor herself - she may be involved in child labor or used as child labour.
- Hello, I think you need to go through and shorten a lot of your sentences for a start.
- A girl cannot be child labor herself - she may be involved in child labor or used as child labour.
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3 Answers
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Hello,
I think you need to go through and shorten a lot of your sentences for a start.
A girl cannot be child labor herself - she may be involved in child labor or used as child labour.
I think you need to go through and shorten a lot of your sentences for a start.
A girl cannot be child labor herself - she may be involved in child labor or used as child labour.
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Thanx for your comment and i rewrite it.
You have a look and see if there is a mistake.
The picture represents a girl who involved in child labor. She does not have the opportunity to go to school and learn like other children because she is poor and she should work instead of going to school .She is an illiterate girl who sells a study material which is written in Engl
You have a look and see if there is a mistake.
The picture represents a girl who involved in child labor. She does not have the opportunity to go to school and learn like other children because she is poor and she should work instead of going to school .She is an illiterate girl who sells a study material which is written in Engl
00
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