Help me please

Question

does anyone who can correct this paragraph?

please give me some comments as well

all in all, no matter people stand on, the side that supporting stop selling junk food ,or not.All those of them are holding the mind of 'giving the best one to their beloved students or children'.But, we are convinced that the right of choosing any kind of food belongs to students they deserve.As a human being,no matter eating healthy food, or choosing junk food,it is a fundamental right for students to choose. With esteem on human being, we should pay the biggest allowance for students to do what they desire.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Hello, hermit-- and welcome to English Forums. I have underlined some problem areas:

all in all, no matter people stand on, the side that supporting stop selling junk food ,or not. All those of them are holding the mind of 'giving the best one to their beloved students or children'. But, we are convinced that the right of choosing ~~any kind of~~ food belongs to students they deserve. As a human being, no matter eating healthy food, or choosing junk food, it is a fundamental right for students to choose. With esteem on human being, we should pay the biggest allowance for students to do what they desire.

Hermit_ln · Answer

thx for your comments,i have already corrected my mistakes as below paragraph:

all in all, wherever people stand at, the side that holding the supportive on stoping selling junk food or not,all these people are holding the mind of 'giving the best to their beloved students or children'. But, we are convinced that the right of choosing any variety of food belongs to students that they deserve. No matter students are eating healthy food or choosing junk food , it is a fundamental right for them to hold. With esteem, we should pay the biggest allowance for them to do what they desire.

is it correct? except the mistakes on 'the biggest allowance' and' holding the mind of 'giving the best to their beloved students or children' that the place you highlight,can you tell me how to correct these mistake? are the mistake on vocabulary?

Mister Micawber · Answer

It seems about as bad as before; it is just different. And you didn't fix several at all. Please try again. Words struck through with a line are useless verbiage. Think about grammar and vocabulary.

all in all, wherever people stand at, the side that holding the supportive on stoping selling junk food or not, all these people are holding the mind of 'giving the best to their beloved students or children'. But, we are convinced that the right of choosing ~~any variety of~~ food belongs to students that they deserve. No matter students are eating healthy food or choosing junk food , it is a fundamental right for them to hold. With esteem, we should pay the biggest allowance for them to do what they desire.

except the mistakes on 'the biggest allowance' and' holding the mind of 'giving the best to their beloved students or children' that the place you highlight,can you tell me how to correct these mistake?-- I can't tell you because I don't know what you mean to say. Those phrases are mysteries.

Hermit_ln · Answer

in fact,it is a conclusion, the last paragraph of my composition,

first, thx for your sincere comments, here is my improvement:

1.'it is a fundamental right for students to hold', yes, in fact, i know the problem on the word'hold', what i really want to say is students have the right for choosing food, but my poor vocabulary can not find any marvellous verb instead of 'hold' ,can you suggest?

2.with respect, should be correctd to with pride and respect,i think you may understand what i mean but ' we should pay the biggest allowance for them to do what they desire' means teachers/parents should allow students/child to choose what they want, but what's wrong?is the mistake on 'the biggest allowance'?so, how can i improve it better?

then, there are my question,

1,'all in all 'ought to mean 'to summarize' ,but what's wrong?in fact, it may exist the word'all in all'

am i misunderstand?

2, because of 'wherever people stand' ,it should mean have 2sides people stand, which is some people support selling junk food while the rest are disagree ,then i wrote 'or not', isn't it?

3, where you highlight 'the side that holding ' so i remember now it should be correctd' the side that hold',right?but i couldn't understand the highlight on 'the supportive', i know supportive is adjective, but i remeber when add the word'the ' in front of the adjective ,then it will change to noun, so it is 'the supportive' ,so i think it may nothing wrong on the sentence,is it mistaken on the other??but what's wrong on 'holding the mind,,??

4, yes, i think it may better change 'the mind of giving the best to their beloved childrem,,,' to 'the mind with giving,,' right??

5, i don't understand the mistake 'but, we are convinced' , do you mean i should delete 'but'???and, last, what's wrong on ' no matter stundetents,,'

i am really appreciated for your help~~

Mister Micawber · Answer

Frankly, hermit, I cannot even begin to address all your concerns or problems, so I must simply rewrite the passage in the way most natives would express it. Please read this and think about all the ways in which it differs from yours:

All in all, whichever position parents and teachers take regarding junk food, they have the best interests of their students and children at heart. But the fundamental right to choose what they eat belongs to the young people themselves, whether they do so healthily or not. We should respect this, support them, and let them choose what they like.

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