Help me in IELTS writing task 2

Topic: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Here is my answer:

There are disputes over whether or not specific talents of some people are genetical. while many people believe that only individuals who have been gifted could become great musicians or athletes, I would argue that it is possible to acquire such a gift by conventional methods of learning and challenging work.

It is understandable that people easily lean toward the first side of the argument. Some individuals are born with body features that are beneficial for being good sports person or singer such as inherent long legs or innate strong high singing voice. A lot of famous artists or athletes have been succeeded at the early stage of their career make more people to believe in natural talents. A great illustration for this is Taylor Swift who effortlessly won her first Grammy when she was 16.

On the other hand, I would prove geniuses are not naturally born and they are not painlessly success. There are more examples of people who gain miraculous achievements by practicing and enduring through pain and difficulties in reality. Even gifted ones could fail if they stop trying and take hard-working for granted. In addition, along with humans civilization and science evolution, more and more modern methods of educating people are invented. Those new approaches are useful in improving physical weaknesses and develop new instruments which effectively support potential athletes and musicians.

In conclusion, it seems that certain talents are innate and could not be taught but in fact, through patience and hard-working, with mechanism assistance, any child could be trained to become music or sports stars.