Help me improve on IELTS Writing Part 2

Question

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of students. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People's opinions differ when it comes whether or not should school children to be given homework by their teachers. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of homework, I still think that it is an indispensable aspect of education.
There are several reasons why people consider homework an unnecessary burden on children. Firstly, there is evidence to support the idea that homework does nothing to improve educational outcomes. Countries which constantly top the Educational Quality Ranking such as Finland stopped giving students homework a long time ago and still outperforms those countries where the setting of homework is the norm. Secondly, people argue that the time students spend at school is already long and stressful enough, so it is unreasonable to make children keep studying after school.
Despite all the arguments mentioned above, I still side with those who advocate that homework plays an essential role in the schooling of children. The main benefit of homework is that it helps students to develop a studying habit. It forces them to learn how to work on tasks and solve problems alone and at their own pace. On top of that, homework also helps students to consolidate the knowledge that has been covered by their teachers at school. As a result, they will remember what they have been taught more easily.
In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits of it outweigh them in the long term.

I am practicing for the upcoming IELTS Test, so please point out my mistakes and ways to improve.

All comment are welcomed, thank you in advance

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You submitted 240 words. The minimum word count for IELTS Task 2 essays is 250. You will lose points for "Task completion."

Examiners will also ignore the text that you mostly copied from the Internet. That further reduces your word count. After taking out the text that you copied, there is hardly any left over that you wrote yourself. You changed a few of the sentences, but the structure, individual sentences and phrases are pretty much a verbatim copy of an essay published a few years ago.

You will get a band score of zero for this essay because you did not write the majority of it. The IELTS examiners are very much attuned to memorized and copied text. They can instantly know that the writing is not your own effort.

Why do you ask a teacher to give you feedback on text that you did not write? It is a waste of the teacher's time and it does not help you at all.

People's opinions differ when it comes whether or not should school children to be given homework by their teachers. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of homework, I still think that it is an indispensable aspect of education.

People’s opinions differ as to whether or not school children should be given homework. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of homework, I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of education.
- Copied from https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/06/ielts-writing-task-2-homework-essay.html

~~There are several reasons why people consider homework an unnecessary burden on children. Firstly~~, First, there is evidence to support the idea that homework does nothing to improve educational outcomes. ~~Countries which constantly top the Educational Quality Ranking such as Finland~~ stopped giving students homework a long time ago and still outperforms (wrong form - you did not copy this verb correctly. ) t~~hose countries where the setting of homework is the norm.~~ ~~Secondly~~, Second, people argue that the time students spend at school ~~is already long~~ and stressful ~~enough~~, so it is unreasonable to make children keep studying after school.

There are several reasons why people might argue that homework is an unnecessary burden on children. Firstly, there is evidence to support the idea that homework does nothing to improve educational outcomes. Countries such as Finland, where school children are not given homework, regularly top international educational league tables and outperform nations where setting homework is the norm. Secondly, many parents would agree that the school day is already long enough, and leaves their children too tired to do further study when they return home.
- ibid.

~~In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that homework has an important role to play in the schooling of children. The main benefit of homework~~ is that it encourages independent learning and problem solving, as children are challenged ~~to work through tasks alone and at their own pace.~~ In doing so, students must apply the knowledge that they have learnt in the classroom. For example, by doing mathematics exercises at home, students ~~consolidate their understanding of the concepts taught by their teacher at school~~. In my view, it is important for children ~~to develop an independent study habit~~ because this prepares them to work alone as adults.

Despite all the arguments mentioned above, I still side with those who advocate that homework plays an essential role in the schooling of children. The main benefit of homework is that it helps students to develop a studying habit. It forces them to learn how to work on tasks and solve problems alone and at their own pace. On top of that, homework also helps students to consolidate the knowledge that has been covered by their teachers at school. As a result, they will remember what they have been taught more easily.
- ibid.

In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.

In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits of it outweigh them in the long term.
- ibid.

Note that the original essay's word count was 270. Your omission of certain sentences reduced your submission's word count to below the minimum.
I think you have a lot to learn.

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