Help me evaluate this IELTS Writing Task 2 essay

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A number of administrations regard economic progress as an ultimate priority for their country, while many believe other kinds of development play a crucial and equivalent role as economic ones. This essay will discuss both point of views and offer personal thoughts on the argument.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why the governments heavily emphasize on creating economic breakthrough. To begin with, economic growth is the finest reflection of citizens’ standard of living in a certain country. For instance, it can clearly be seen that a resident populating in developed countries such as Canada and the Netherlands is likely to enjoy a greater living standard in comparison to a person living in underdeveloped areas in Asia or Africa. In addition, possessing a strong and sustainable economy is an indispensable element in developing other aspects of a country. If a particular country stimulates its investment in developing its cultural heritage, not only the legacy will be conserved but other relevant areas will be greatly influenced. For example, the authorities can allocate some of the taxation on planning and launching proper projects with the aim of attracting tourists, tourism industry is likely to flourish noticeably and the locals will enjoy a greater income eventually.

On the other hand, many other types of progress rather than economic ones also deserve the same attention such as combating sexism and pollution. Gender discrimination and environmental pollution exist prevalently and escalate despite of the levels of economic development, thus, it can clearly be seen that money isn’t the ultimate solution for all problems. In this circumstance, it is vital for the governments to prioritize the advance of education in order to raise people awareness towards the issues and propose appropriate solutions to deal with these problems.

To conclude, both economic and other sector evolvement are essential for the development of a country. From my perspective, none of them should be the dominance and the governments should distribute their resources to other fields equally with the aim of not only promoting its own economy but also fulfilling the citizens vision about a livable nation.

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