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Jeff_999 Posted 21 years ago
Grammar
Help me edit it, please!
I translated some documents for a refrigerating equipment company (called ABC, and the brand of products is DDD). The following is about the application of ice-making equipment in man-made ice world like artificial skiing grounds. Could you please help me to make the wording proper and sound natural to you native speakers? Thank you so much in advance.
"For lacking of the advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy in expensive equipment from abroad. It no doubt increases the cost, and the poor after-sale services worry the importers. Aiming at this problem, ABC Corporation introduced in high-end technology and relevant products from Japanese companies, which have wealthy experience in skiing grounds project, and we developed the whole ice making, storing, and delivering system based on Chinese national condition. The biggest advantage of DDD products is their excellent functions, comparative prices and perfect services to customers.
The man-made ice world and environment belong to large-sized project construction. ABC Corporation inherited the many years of construction experience from Japanese companies, and owns the professional designing team and product line of large-sized products. We save much intermediary cost for our customers by providing services to customers directly because of our advantageous and convenient condition. ABC Corporation has already made great contributions to many domestic well-known large scale ice-making project constructions. And now DDD products are satisfying different customers in different conditions and demands by providing a series of the complete, more advanced ice machines and ice delivering system. Moreover, we have unique technical and professional advantage and many years of experience to offer better services to customers, especially when coping with the severe conditions. The ice storage and delivery system of ABC Corporation is your economic, safe and ideal choice.
"For lacking of the advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy in expensive equipment from abroad. It no doubt increases the cost, and the poor after-sale services worry the importers. Aiming at this problem, ABC Corporation introduced in high-end technology and relevant products from Japanese companies, which have wealthy experience in skiing grounds project, and we developed the whole ice making, storing, and delivering system based on Chinese national condition. The biggest advantage of DDD products is their excellent functions, comparative prices and perfect services to customers.
The man-made ice world and environment belong to large-sized project construction. ABC Corporation inherited the many years of construction experience from Japanese companies, and owns the professional designing team and product line of large-sized products. We save much intermediary cost for our customers by providing services to customers directly because of our advantageous and convenient condition. ABC Corporation has already made great contributions to many domestic well-known large scale ice-making project constructions. And now DDD products are satisfying different customers in different conditions and demands by providing a series of the complete, more advanced ice machines and ice delivering system. Moreover, we have unique technical and professional advantage and many years of experience to offer better services to customers, especially when coping with the severe conditions. The ice storage and delivery system of ABC Corporation is your economic, safe and ideal choice.
Top answer
Hi Jeff. : Lacking advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy expensive equipment from abroad. Importers are concerned both about the increased costs involved and the quality of after-sale services.
- Hi Jeff.
- : Lacking advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy expensive equipment from abroad.
- Importers are concerned both about the increased costs involved and the quality of after-sale services.
- Aiming at these concerns, ABC Corporation has introduced high-end technology and other relevant products from Japanese companies that have a wealth of experience in skiing grounds projects.
- ).
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3 Answers
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Hi Jeff. How does this sound to you?:
Lacking advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy expensive equipment from abroad. Importers are concerned both about the increased costs involved and the quality of after-sale services. Aiming at these concerns, ABC Corporation has introduced high-end technology and other relevant products from Japane
Lacking advanced ice-making equipment, domestic skiing grounds have to buy expensive equipment from abroad. Importers are concerned both about the increased costs involved and the quality of after-sale services. Aiming at these concerns, ABC Corporation has introduced high-end technology and other relevant products from Japane
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Thanks a lot, Davkett.
The first condition refers to the the national condition. As we know, different countries have different conditions. We must set up policies and regulations according to our own national condition.
As for the second one, I guess there's something wrong with the original text (the Chinese version). It may refer to the condition that could provide the servic
The first condition refers to the the national condition. As we know, different countries have different conditions. We must set up policies and regulations according to our own national condition.
As for the second one, I guess there's something wrong with the original text (the Chinese version). It may refer to the condition that could provide the servic
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Then, instead of 'condition', you might say--
1) ...according to China's policies and regulations
2) ...We are in the advantageous position of being able to save our customers much of the middle-man costs by...
3) ...satisfying the diverse demands and requirementsof our customers
1) ...according to China's policies and regulations
2) ...We are in the advantageous position of being able to save our customers much of the middle-man costs by...
3) ...satisfying the diverse demands and requirementsof our customers
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