Help me correct this writing task 2

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
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There are various types of music in the world today. Music is definitely an indispensable thing in our life and I believe that both traditional and international music are equally important to us.

Music plays an integral part in our life due to its irreplaceable functions. Firstly, it is a good means of recreation, which allows people to relax and release stress effectively. For example, concerts or opera houses are usually full of people coming to unwind after a long stressful day. Secondly, music can act as a tool to stimulate brain so that people are likely to work and study more productively. Children who learn music form a very young age have more tendency to develop the ability to learn foreign languages and artistic areas. Also, workers who usually spend time listening to music seem to enhance their level of job performance readily.

In my view, traditional music is as essential as international one because each type has its own advantages. Traditional music benefit a country by allowing its cultural identity to be preserved and developed. When there are more and more cultures exchanged among nations, local music helps to express the national culture. By contrast, international melody is becoming a more popular choice or everyone to entertain because of its catchy rhythm. Such related songs are typically composed complying to the public demand resulted in highly relaxing role.

In conclusion, humans cannot live without music and I believe that international and traditional music should be appreciated equally.