Help me correct this writing task 2

Question

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
----------
Some certain languages are on the brink of extinction because few people use them. While I believe that it is essential for governments to spend public money on preserving these languages, many people argue that it would be a waste of money.

There are several reasons why many people think it is unnecessary to save minor languages. Firstly, the global economy only do need some main languages to work effectively. For example, most trade contracts between countries are written in English, French and Japanese. In face, these contracts account for more than half of the whole global revenue. Secondly, governments should spend money on much more important projects instead of on saving such languages. For example, preserving endangered species and reducing environmental pollution seem to be in more bad need.

On the other hand, I believe that saving minor languages is not pointless at all. Firstly, such languages guarantee the global cultural diversity. The ethnic communities or races depending on them are more likely to survive and develop in the industrialized world. In addition, I think that younger generations will definitely benefit from such action. There will be more linguistic choices for them to study and as a result, their horizons can be broaden considerably. Finally, I strongly believe that every language in the world has a right to be treated equally no matter how dominant it is.

In conclusion, although saving minor languages demands both money and effort, I believe it worth doing.

Teechr · Accepted Answer

Ti?u C?mWhile I believe that it is essential for governments to spend public money on preserving these languages, many people argue that it would be a waste of money.

That's inverted! Switch it around. The "while" expresses concession; it means "even though."

Also, the first argument (in body paragraph #1) is not a good one. Try again.

Tiểu Cầm · Answer

I rewrote my writing. Please correct it for me. Thank you very much.
------

Some certain languages are on the brink of extinction because few people use them. While many people argue that those languages do not need to be protected and preserved, I believe it is essential for governments to spend public money on saving them.

There are several reasons why many people think it would be a waste of money to save minority languages. Firstly, they argue that the world only need one language utilized as the main one for all kinds of activities. This would extremely reduce the global expenses for studying languages and translation. Instead of spending time on such things, people can do more important things for their lives such as enhancing their soft skills. Secondly, people suppose that governments should use public money for improving public infrastructure and services other than saving minority languages. Those things seem to be more essential because they allow to meet basic human needs on a daily basis.

On the other hand, I believe that saving minority languages is not pointless at all. Firstly, such languages guarantee the global cultural diversity. The ethnic communities or races depending on them are more likely to survive and develop in the industrialized world. In addition, I think that younger generations will definitely benefit from such action. There will be more linguistic choices for them to study and as a result, their horizons can be broaden considerably. Finally, I strongly believe that every language in the world has a right to be treated equally no matter how dominant it is.

In conclusion, although saving minor languages demands both money and effort, I believe it worth doing.

Teechr · Answer

Some ~~certain~~ languages are on the brink of extinction because few people use them. While many people argue that those languages do not need to be protected and preserved, I believe it is essential for governments to spend public money on saving them.

There are several reasons why ~~many people~~ some think it would be a waste of money to save ~~minority~~ languages from going extinct. Firstly, they argue that there is no economic benefit from saving such languages. They point out that those languages are usually spoken by very few people and they're not even used in official communication or commerce. ~~the world only need one language utilized as the main one for all kinds of activities. This would extremely reduce the global expenses for studying languages and translation.~~ Instead of spending ~~time on such things, people can do~~ precious funds trying to keep alive those obscure languages, governments should target more important ~~things for their lives~~ areas such as ~~enhancing their soft skills. Secondly, people suppose that governments should use public money for~~ improving public infrastructure and providing a wider range of services to all citizens. ~~other than saving minority languages. Those things seem to be more essential because they allow to meet basic human needs on a daily basis.~~

On the other hand, I believe that saving minority languages is not pointless at all. Firstly, such languages guarantee the global cultural diversity. The ethnic communities or races depending on them are more likely to survive and develop in the industrialized world, without losing their traditions. It's also important to note that the funds spent on saving these languages are typically modest and do not constitute a burden to the national budget. In addition, I think that younger generations will definitely benefit from the preservation of these languages. ~~such action.~~ There will be more linguistic choices for them to study, and as a result, their horizons can be broadened considerably. Finally, I strongly believe that every language in the world has a right to be treated equally no matter how ~~dominant~~ minor it is.

In conclusion, although saving minority languages demands both money and effort, I believe it worth doing.

Try to refute your opponent's points. [See added text in peach.]

Tiểu Cầm · Answer

I don't understand why my first paragraph is so bad. Is it not good at using appropriate vocabulary or its meaning is not logic?

Teechr · Answer

Ti?u C?mI don't understand why my first paragraph is so bad. Is it ~~not good at using appropriate~~ poorly written from a vocabulary/grammar perspective?

It has some mistakes.

or is its meaning is not logical?

It's not factual, and it's off topic. It's simply not true that the world just needs one language!

Help me correct this writing task 2

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions