0
Ladder bee 597 Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Help me correct this essay

Topic : At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?


In the contemporary world, with the constant changes in population, young people in several countries are outnumbering elders. Some people think the fact that there are more young labors offers more benefits, while others think contrarily. To my way of thinking, despite several obvious drawbacks that a large number of young adults have, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

There are several reasons why younger population can be disadvantageous. The most vital drawback is that government has difficulty in controlling the society, as young adults and teenagers might not be fully-grown and immature, which can lead to social problems. For instance, according to VnExpress, the crime rate is much higher among young people, especially drug dealing and vandalism.

However, I support the idea that having large younger people is more advantageous than disadvantageous. The first benefit is that the society is provided with a younger, more efficient workforce, which can obviously contribute more than the older workforce. Due to the fact that young people are often physically stronger, and they can approach new technologies more easily, which can assist them in their work. Also, young workers create a younger and more creative working environment, therefore they bring more efficiency. Moreover, young people consume less money and health care compared to elders because of the amount of pension. In more detail, The 2017 Global Pension Assets Study covers 22 major pension markets, which total USD 36,435 billion in pension assets and account for 62.0% of the GDP of these economies. China, Finland and Italy were added to this year’s study.

To conclude, older people should not be considered a burden for the country, however, the young have more to contribute to the society and the country as a whole. This is why it is more beneficial for a country to have an active workforce than dependent senior citizens.

  

Top answer

ladder bee 597 old er people. old people. Old because you have not stated who they are older than, therefore the word "older" makes no sense.

  • ladder bee 597 old er people.
  • old people.
  • Old because you have not stated who they are older than, therefore the word "older" makes no sense.
  • ladder bee 597 outnumbering elders.
  • The last word is weird in this context.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

2 Answers
0
ladder bee 597older people.

old people. Old because you have not stated who they are older than, therefore the word "older" makes no sense.

ladder bee 597outnumbering elders.

The last word is weird in this context. It seems excessively formal. It would be more natural to replace it with

0

In the contemporary world, with the constant changes in population, young people in several countries are outnumbering older people. elders. Some people think the fact that there are more young labors (???) offers more benefits, while others think contrarily. To my way of thinking, despite several obvious drawbacks that a l

Related Questions