Help me correct this essay

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Graduating high school, young people wonder whether they should continue to ought to keep on studying further or not. While some people suppose that students learning at university have more successful opportunities on their career path, I would argue that they must seek a job after school.

On the one hand, there are some reasons why continuing study at higher level. Firstly, there are some jobs which require academic qualifications. If young people prefer to be doctor, teacher or accountant, they should have relevant degree such as a medical certificate. As a result, university graduates have access more and better job opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those without university education. Secondly, students enhance their resume when they seek a job in the future. Learning after school allows young people to have more qualifications, which is what employers expect these days.

On the other hand, I believe that working right after school is beneficial in some ways. Youngsters have able to earn money as soon as possible. Working allows them to meet basic human needs and to earn a living. They probably are mature enough to live independently. Furthermore, it may bring about a good chance to obtain a lot of real experiences. Working helps them how to build a strong relationship with other workers and how to manage conflicts.

In conclusion, although both working upon graduating from high school and continuing higher study are advantageous in their own ways, it seem to me that it is better to land a job.