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Farhanullah Posted 12 years ago
Letter Writing

Help me correct my writing.

I was asked to write "career aspiration" for my scholarship application. I wrote it but it need corrections. please help me I have to submit it today! the paragraphs seems not to be connected. theres anything I could add to make it more impressive?

Thanks in advance

My ambition is to become leading research scientist in field of cancer biology. I have a strong passion in the field of oncology. This passion has been developed throughout my undergraduate days, during which I have taken several academic courses whose modules placed some emphasis in aspects related to cancer biology and genetics.
I have a passion to do my PhD in cancer biology but in xxxx only few centers have appropriate physical facilities and trained manpower in this field. That is why I want to pursue my higher studies from a prestigious institution from abroad in this field. While searching for suitable scholarship “xxxxx International Graduate Award” seems to be a perfect opportunity for me to pursue my PhD in my desired field. Based on my academic competency, I believe that I have the capability and potential to make positive contributions to the ongoing research projects at the Institute of Molecular and Cell Biology (IMCB). I hope to do my best if selected for the PhD program.
After completing my PhD from Singapore I would return to xxxx and teach at a research-oriented university and also practice different lab techniques, conduct research, and instill in students my enthusiasm for research and enable students to understand the subject in a better way. In long term I would carry out productive research in the field of Cancer biology to develop a better cure for cancer.
  

Top answer

Hello Farhanullah. I've had a look at this for you. Here are some suggestions: My ambition is to become leading research scientist in the field of cancer biology.

  • Hello Farhanullah.
  • I've had a look at this for you.
  • Here are some suggestions: My ambition is to become leading research scientist in the field of cancer biology.
  • I have a strong passion for oncology.
  • This passion developed during my undergraduate days, when I took several academic courses whose modules placed some emphasis on aspects related to cancer biology and genetics.
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3 Answers
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Hello Farhanullah.

I've had a look at this for you. Here are some suggestions:

My ambition is to become leading research scientist in the field of cancer biology. I have a strong passion for oncology. This passion developed during my undergraduate days, when I took several academic courses whose modules placed some emphasis on aspects related to cancer biology and genetics.
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I'm afraid I left out an a in the first sentence; it should read.


My ambition is to become a leading research scientist...

I don't seem to be able to edit it now.

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