HELP ME: Check my Statement of purpose, please!

I am applying to a master programme in England and I need a statement of purpose. I have done this first draft below and I would like to receive some advices.

Thanks in advance.

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Dear Sirs,

I learned the availability of the XXXXX , as I am very interested by the proposition, I would like to put forward my reasons for wanting to study in this program.

I have obtained my graduate diploma of mechanical engineer at XXXX. During my undergraduate studies I always enjoy computer aided technologies very much and I tried to work with them during this period. As a result, after some experiences working with CAD and CAM, I have become the first Product Engineer from “city X” in the CAE Department at “Company Y” “city X”, xxxx. This experience instilled in me the desire to obtain expertise in computational mechanics.

Actually, at CAE department in the “Company Y”s product development center I am working in the Analytical Prototype Building team which is responsible to modelling vehicles from CAD models to durability, safety and NVH analysis. This work has allowed me to gain valuable knowledge in finite element method.

In addition to “Company Y”, I have had numerous other experiences that further enhance my qualifications for this programme. At the Machining Laboratory, I have worked applying monitoring systems in machining process. As results of this research, we published two papers in magazines and presented two papers in conferences. In the same time, as student worker at “Company N”, I have started to work with computer aided technologies through CAD modelling and CNC/CAM programming for mould making. I have also experienced the field of design by working at “Company M” in development of automotive plastic components. This position has allowed me to develop product development skills and leadership abilities.

During undergraduate period, I experience yet an exchange program at “Institute A” in xxx, xxxxx. At Process Technology Department I performed investigations regarding ELID-grinding for optical industry and thus I have gained valuable expertise in precision engineering.

My professional aim is to be an expert at computational mechanics. Particularly, I would like to get deeper knowledge in Fluid Mechanics and Structural Engineering. In addition, I hope apply my knowledge in different kind of industries.

I strongly believe that this programme would help me to achieve my goals. I would be immensely delighted to be enrolled as a postgraduate student at this consortium. I think that I have the necessary background and ability to apply to this renowned programme.

Yours faithfully,

Fabio