HELP ME CHECK MY IELTS WRITING TASK 2

Task 2:

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the minimum legal age for road drivers is deemed to be of paramount importance to hinder the growth of accidents, which I partly side with a group of individuals.

Prohibiting young drivers on the road has certain merits as the older people grow, the more mature their mind would be, thus they could be more aware of their actions coming with consequences. Driving with high speed is an illustration as while some adolescents nowadays consider it to be an adventurous activity, the middle-aged understand they might hit someone and thereby avoid it. In theory, increasing the minimum legal age, which is normally 16 years old, could be a resolution, however, the reality proves that road accidents result from sources of wrongdoings.

Overdrinking could be a major contributor. In several countries, alcoholic drinks are a must in celebrations including Tet in Viet Nam, thus it comes with no surprise that the number of accidents surges every that holiday. My personal viewpoint states that people with excessive alcohol consumption could be at any age, senior citizens and even teenagers in some parts of the world, hence the heavy punishment on this issue could also help strengthen road safety. Besides, the distraction to driving could be an additional issue and this is to discuss that it does not necessarily depend on the factor of age. A Vietnamese truck driver causes the demise of eight people only because of focusing on his mobile phones rather on the road. As a result, raising the legal age could not be the best solution but a number of approaches to raise residential awareness in terms of alcoholic consumption or the attentiveness to driving along with it could ameliorate the road safety.

In conclusion, while people’s perspective concerning the increase in the lowest age legal for driving could do some parts of assistance, I partially concur that this is the most effective as road accidents could be caused by two other factors mentioned, which also need to be encroached by governments.

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