Help me check my essay in IELTS Writing Task 2

Question: Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

My answer:

Nowadays, while some are of the opinion that the government has a responsibility to protect the environment, others suppose that it belongs to everyone's duty. I wholeheartedly agree with the former.

To start with, safeguarding the environment is the authorities' responsibility because they have power to cause that to happen. In detail, they can enact laws to severely punish persons who break the law relating to standards of preserving the environment. Besides, the state has national budgets to take necessary measures to prevent the atmosphere from being vulnerable to toxic emissions. For instance, they can encourage their citizens to commute to work by public transport through giving financial incentives to those who choose this type of transportation. Therefore, that country's government and public will approach sustainable development, which is more environmentally friendly to nature.

Moreover, individuals should receive their responsibility for safeguarding their living environment in the surrounding areas owing to its benefits regarding improving people's health. It is essential for people to refrain from throwing garbage everywhere to keep their space clean. That will lower the risk of environmental contamination, which humans suffer from health diseases like asthma, lung cancer, and heart attack. In the long term, the preservation of the environment will make a contribution to pristine conditions for the next generations.

In conclusion, maintaining our environment healthy offers positive things with respect to long-term growth concerning the ecosystem and the health of human beings, which I support completely. In addition to this view, many people argue that it is better to let the government acknowledge protecting the environment.