Help me check my essay in IELTS Writing Task 2

First of all, I fully appreciate and give millions of thanks and hugs to anyone who comments or checks my humble essay. Then, here it is.

Question: Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?
My essay as an answer:

In modern times, people are divided in their opinion regarding what should be taught in educational establishments. Some claim that teachers solely need to teach subjects in curriculums in order to help their students overcome examinations in preference to school, including dressing as well as cooking. I partly agree with this idea.

To commence, it is profitable for learners to study academic knowledge in schools. First, it is better prepared for the future study for those who will enrol on tertiary schooling afterwards. In detail, gaining in-depth understanding of compulsory subjects will facilitate more excellent learning results in university. In addition to this, schoolchildren have the opportunity to enhance their own creativity. To exemplify, the ability to solve complicated issues can be applied by themselves in later practical life due to dealing with intricate mathematical exercises.

Furthermore, training students how to cook and dress should be brought to reality in learning programs at school. Specifically, absorbing these skills brings benefits to them when they live independently in the adult world. For instance, they can manage to cook dishes when working in long-distance places compared to their dwelling. Besides, learners can refresh their minds after stressful study hours. This prompts the subjects' teachers to possess leisure time to relax without wasting time on nonsense such as playing harmful addicting games, gossiping at the expense of others, and so forth.

In conclusion, I advocate teaching students traditional subjects in school enables them to pass the exams for some reasons. Similarly, several advantages of learning the skills concerning cooking and dressing also drew my attention to support its existence.