Help me check and fix my Ielts writing task 2

Topic: In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

In many major cities around the world, to reduce crime in public locations, one of the ways is the use of surveillance cameras. while some people argue that these measures set limits on individuals' privacy, I believe that these benefits cannot overcome the limitation that brings.

On the one hand, video cameras can prevent criminals from committing illegal activities. When public spaces such as parks, parking, shopping centers are installed video cameras that will record all images of people arriving there, and if criminals commit guilty activities, authorities take those pictures as proof. Criminals knew that they dare not sin. Additionally, security organizations con detect unusual activities lead to putting a stop to terrorist attacks. It can therefore be argued that the use of video cameras ensures more safety and social security.

On the other hand, surveillance cameras may not respect each person's privacy because all behaviors could be constantly observed. Those will not feel relaxed when individuals' images could be sent to security agencies even that image could be analyzed if needed. For example, when in a shopping center or parking, someone lost important belongings, whoever was present at the time could be tracked every gesture. Not only that, if suspected, they can also be searched or even Kept for investigation. Besides, there are many people who have the ability to infiltrate and Steal security cameras can spread those images or videos on social networks or electric channels that adversely affect the individual.

In summary, although security cameras in public addresses could protect society from crime, I think that not being able to fix some limitations relate privacy of each person.

My aim is 6.0

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