HELP ME!! Can someone help me review my essay?

Question

I had wrote a Dunkin Donuts product quality improvement proposal. The following is my proposal, should I add something for the Memo and Executive Summany? Becasue I feel it is too short. Or can someone give me some feedback for my essay? Thank you~~

Memo

SUBJECT: proposal to help Dunkin Donuts improve product quality to increase profit

Because of the market competition is big and the price rise. Dunkin Donuts should has a

better quality to keep the old customers and attract some new customers. If we have a

better quality and service, I believe our company profit will increase.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

Hi Sharon, and welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry to say that your essay is ridded with serious grammatical errors, and before you worry about summaries, etc., you should make sure you have corrected those errors. I'm afraid that people won't take your ideas seriously if you don't present them using standard business English.

Because of the market competition is big and the price rise. This is a fragment, not a complete sentence.

Dunkin Donuts should has a better quality to keep the old customers and attract some new customers. should have

If we have a better quality and service, I believe our company profit will increase. quality and service are not count nouns, and should not have an article

Executive Summary

Dunkin Donuts is the international coffee and baked goods chain. There are other international coffee and baked good chains, aren't there? Use "a" instead of "the."

They are serving more than 3 million customers per day. Technically okay, but "They serve" is more common.

Dunkin Donuts sells 52 different donuts and more than a dozen coffee beverages. It also sells bagels, breakfast sandwiches and other baked goods. Okay

Because we have continuously received complaints for our product quality from the customers and this will affect our profit. A fragment again. complaints about. Not continuously, but perhaps frequently. What is the "this" -- the compliants? Use profits, instead of profit.

Therefore, we should find out the problems and improve it. Find out what the problems are and eliminate them

Also, it can increase our profit. What will? Why is this "also"? profits.

***

I've only done the first part, but you can see there is an error in just about every sentence. Please go back and rework this. Is this an assignment for a business class, or is this an actual report that you, as a Dunkin Donuts employee, want to make to senior management?

Sharon_m · Answer

Thank you for reviewing my essay.This is for my english class. I need to write a proposal for a company, and I chose Dunkin Donuts. So how can I rewrite it for my firs sentence?

BarbaraPA · Answer

Sharon, I'm sorry, but I can't rewrite the essay for you. I told you it was a fragment - you need to turn it into a complete sentence.

Anonymous · Answer

Where is the essay

HELP ME!! Can someone help me review my essay?

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