Help for my motivation letter for university admission application

Dear,

Please, I need help with my motivation letter for university admission and I post it t below. comment me in content,flow, language and every possible dimension that you think it s important to me.

I hope you respond me as soon as possible,
Yours

Janet James

MOTIVATION LETTER
Dear Sir/Madam,

My objective for studying Biomedicine is to prepare myself for my lifelong goal of research and teaching. I had the opportunity to spend my early days in assisting my father’s pharmacy which enabled me to become familiar with medical drugs which has been significantly influencing my academic and future professional preference as I grow up. In fact, how medical drugs are prepared and how they are curing different illnesses are few of many mysterious questions that have been in my mind to explore since my childhood. When I read the undergraduate degree program on Biomedicine on the ……website…. for international students, I felt that the time has come to practically challenge my dream and to build my future career.

In pursuit of knowledge I have always undergone rigorous study in order to have detailed knowledge about the subject matters. In all schools I have been enrolled, I am one of top students and, for example, my result in the XXX and YYYY reflects this. Based on the results I scored in different national examinations, I was able to win a very competitive study position in Medical School at University of Pretoria which I was forced to quit for financial reason. However, my dream persistently exists, and I always strive to achieve what I am interested at as long as it is important for me and my contribution to world community! In addition to my academic excellence, my personal discipline and extracurricular activities such as community volunteering have been party of my school life which has greatly increased my experience in team work attitude, leadership skills, and active discussion.

I want to study in Cambridge University because of your versatile collaboration with multiple national and international Biomedicine role players, cutting edge research, professionally-oriented education and internship.. Moreover, the combination of distinguished faculty members ,and visiting lecturers with inspiring thought enrich me both academically and my soft skills.

Given my dream and commitment to excellence , I am confident that I will bring high level of motivation and success to your program, and eventually contributing constructively my best to the development of Bioscience.. I am sure to meet your expectation because of my academic and communication skills Furthermore, my international background will add more diversity to your school community.

I want to thank you in advance for considering my application, and look forward to meet during interview

Sincerely yours.
Signature
Janet James