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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Help for my essay
Hello everybody!
i need a help for my english course, i wrote an essay but my teacher told me that's necessary to reformulate some sentences . so would you help me !
here is my essay.
No one can deny the importance of having a personal career plan. It's obvious that everyone starts his life with a plan which dries his future and determinates his career and his lifestyle.
This career starts from college and extends until retirement.
In this while we choose a specific domain that combines our motivation and ambitions, we also practice all what we had learnt in this stage, in order to open for us new opportunities and chances of employment , and discovering new atmosphere which is different to what we were habituated .
As far I'm concerned, I usually have in mind my own career, and my own dream that I wish to fulfill it one day.
I can see myself after 5 years with my diploma, getting it with a great performance, on field of commerce, option marketing. Then I will apply for an adequate job in company in order to acquire more experiences for my professional career
thank you for advance!!
i need a help for my english course, i wrote an essay but my teacher told me that's necessary to reformulate some sentences . so would you help me !
here is my essay.
No one can deny the importance of having a personal career plan. It's obvious that everyone starts his life with a plan which dries his future and determinates his career and his lifestyle.
This career starts from college and extends until retirement.
In this while we choose a specific domain that combines our motivation and ambitions, we also practice all what we had learnt in this stage, in order to open for us new opportunities and chances of employment , and discovering new atmosphere which is different to what we were habituated .
As far I'm concerned, I usually have in mind my own career, and my own dream that I wish to fulfill it one day.
I can see myself after 5 years with my diploma, getting it with a great performance, on field of commerce, option marketing. Then I will apply for an adequate job in company in order to acquire more experiences for my professional career
thank you for advance!!
Top answer
Here is your corrected essay. I tried to keep your words where possible, but I made a couple of < suggestions> where I think your word choice is weak or incomplete. The strikethrough letters are your original words and the color bar words are my replacements.
- Here is your corrected essay.
- I tried to keep your words where possible, but I made a couple of < suggestions> where I think your word choice is weak or incomplete.
- The strikethrough letters are your original words and the color bar words are my replacements.
- No one can deny the importance of having a personal career plan.
- It's obvious that everyone starts his life with a plan which drives dries his future and determinates his career and his lifestyle.
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1 Answers
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Here is your corrected essay. I tried to keep your words where possible, but I made a couple of <suggestions> where I think your word choice is weak or incomplete. The strikethrough letters are your original words and the color bar words are my replacements.
No one can deny the importance of having a per
No one can deny the importance of having a per
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