Help for my cover letter

Question

Hi, I am not an English speaker and I really need help for my Phd application cover letter. I appreciate any instruction.

Dear Dr. xxx,

It is with great pleasure that I submit my application for PhD program in the Department of Geography at xxxx. I will graduate in December and am looking for 2014 fall admission under your supervision. I was very excited when I saw your webpage and research interest in October and contacted you immediately.

During undergraduate studies, my courses have covered software programming and fundamentals in GIS. Then in master degree, I continued GIS study in Geography and Geology department in xxx University supervised by Dr. xxx.

For the past two years, I worked as GIS technician and application developer in xxx, where I developed several GIS web applications in a multi-tasking environment. The development experiences greatly extended my programming skills and provided me valuable understanding of GIS toolsets and technologies.

I found my interest in web-based GIS decision analysis after two years of hands-on working in GIS. By providing innovative application, I believe WebGIS-based application can enhance public participation and equity of access, and thus bridge the gap between experts and the public for planning and decision-making issue. For my graduation thesis, therefore, I am conducting an independent research on a web based decision support application for local community planning. My expectation for this project is to enhance my GIS and programming skills and, more importantly, prepare me for future research in this area of study.

I am confident that I have the capability and potential to pursue PhD degree at Western. I am looking forward to talking to you about my future program study and possible research project.

Please also find my writing sample and resume.

Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
xxxx

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hi;

I think your letter needs some more work. For example, the following sentences do not flow well at all.

a) I was very excited when I saw your webpage and research interest in October and contacted you immediately.

b ) By providing innovative application (an innovative application, or innovative applications), I believe WebGIS-based application (repetition) can enhance public participation (?) and equity of access (?), and thus bridge the gap between experts and the public for planning and decision-making issue. (what is a decision-making issue? Do issues make decisions? Why not give some very specific examples illustrating what you are talking about? Why would I, as a non-expert, want to use such a web site? What would motivate "the public" to use it?)

Other comments:

You also use an abbreviation (GIS) a lot without ever spelling it out. Try not to have so much repetition. It does not hold the reader's interes.

in a multi-tasking environment. All web servers use mutli-tasking environments. How is this especially unique or important? Was there any special research required?

There is not much substance to your descriptions of your accomplishments. It is very general, and your skills and knowledge seem to be in programming, not in the earth sciences. Be more specific. What are your research interests and what difficult problems do you want to tackle as a researcher? What excites you about this field of study?

What was your master's thesis? What did you learn from this field of study? Did you receive any special recognition?
~~Then in master degree,~~

I continued studying GIS ~~study~~ in the Geography and Geology department in *** University supervised by Dr. *** where I earned a Master's Degree.

Zhang Terry · Answer

Thank you so much, I learn a lot.
The professor I am writing to is asking for programming skills, and he is a GIS professor.
I am not sure if it is necessary to spell out GIS.

I will revise and post again. Thanks!

Zhang Terry · Answer

Hi all and AlpheccaStars:
thank you for your comment in last session.
I revised my cover letter and here goes again.

Dear Dr. xx,

It is with great pleasure that I submit my application for PhD program in the Department of Geography at ***. I believe my background and experience are well suited for your research interest and I would like to apply for 2014 fall admission under your supervision.

My graduate study in *** University is supervised by Dr. *** and I will earn the Master’s degree in December. The curriculum of my course study has covered a wide range of topics in GIS analysis. For the past two years, I worked as technician and application developer in ***, where I developed several web mapping applications. The development experiences greatly extended my programming skills and provided me valuable understanding of GIS toolset and technology.

I found my research interest in WebGIS-based spatial decision analysis after two years of practice. The ideas, that through Internet GIS decision analysis can become more accessible to public and spatial decision-making can be more democratized, always motivate me to build innovative web-based tools. Therefore, my current research project for graduation thesis focuses on a WebGIS-based decision support application for community land use planning. Results of this project should discuss the WebGIS character in planning and decision-making process. An application system design and a prototype are also expected.

Being experienced with both GIS analysis and programming, I am confident that I have the capability and potential to conduct research on WebGIS-based multicriteria analysis for urban planning which you mentioned in the email. I am looking forward to talking to you about my future study.

Please also find my writing sample and resume.

Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
xxxx

Zhang Terry · Answer

Ok, I refresh my mind and now I do not think the revise one meet my goal yet. Therefore I am re-writing again and hopefully post soon.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Zhang;

The one you posted is a huge improvement.
Remember that you are "selling yourself." So you need to emphasize the qualities that are suitable for the position you want.
Positions are limited, so you have to present yourself as being superior to all the other applicants. You have to show that your ideas are better, your background and qualifications are better, and your enthusiasm for and knowledge about that particular position are better. Quotes from you references and citations would be a plus too.

Zhang Terry · Answer

Thank you very much! Your comment means a lot to me!

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