Help editing this paragraph.

This paragraph is part of a compare/contrast essay. I am comparing one character from Animal Farm and one from either Julius Caesar or Lord of the Flies. The two I chose are Napoleon and Jack. Some guidelines I have to follow are: Only a max of 2 "to be" verbs per paragraph and use present tense. I don't think my second example (about the limitations) is the best, so if you can come up with a better one please suggest it. Also, I need some help restating my thesis for my conclusion paragraph. Any help would be appreciated. Here is my contrast paragraph:

Thesis: Both William Golding’s Lord of the Flies and George Orwell’s Animal Farm, illustrate that people are hungry for power.

Napoleon, a pig, and Jack, a human, differ in their hunger for power. One example is how they use their power to get their respective societies to do what they dreamed about. Napoleon uses his power to keep the animals in check and to take care of the farm. Napoleon forces the animals to work most of the week to build the windmill and to harvest the land for food. He also uses it to direct the animals’ attention from the growing shortages and inadequacies on the farm. Jack, on the other hand, uses his power to turn his group of boys into blood-thirsty savages. He turns the group’s focus to killing pigs and dancing around campfires. Both characters’ actions prove to be costly and lead to negative effects. Second, different limitations are another example of how the characters could use their powers. Napoleon is looked up to as a leader, which practically gives him the power to mostly do whatever he wants because the animals think he is always right. But he still must follow the commandments which he secretly changes, though, through Squealer to give him more power. In contrast, Ralph appoints Jack a leader position at first as head of the hunters. His power is limited by Ralph because most of the society will listen to him. Since Jack wants more power, he makes the decision to leave Ralph’s group and form his own. This gives him more freedom and ultimately unlimited power. The limitation each character has on their powers affects their decisions and ultimately the end result of their societies. Both characters fail to utilize their powers for the good of the societies and cause destruction and mayhem.