Help correcting a college application essay!!!

The moment I sit in the extremely small burgundy chair my mind was overtaken by the hefty rocks imbedded in the ceiling. The lights began to dim and our teacher settle us down. A fancy man walked on stage announcing the woman that was going to be performing. A big sparkle came to my eyes as this woman entered the stage. Her dress was the most extravagant thing I had ever seen, but her piano playing was even more magical. The moment she sat down and her fingers made contact with the keys, my heart melted. Her fingers glided across the piano so effortlessly, and I felt like I was the only one in the room. At that moment I fell in love with the piano.

From that day on I begged my mother to let me play. I was King Kong trapped in a small cage waiting to break free, but finally I was let out of the cage. When I was eleven I started taking lessons from my brothers former teacher, Beth Carlson. I learned so fast, and everyone told me that I was gifted; I thought it was because I was so old. When I started high school I started taking lessons from someone more experienced, and a little more expensive. I learned so much from this new teacher, every lesson I felt inspired, and like I could do anything.

After taking lessons from this woman for a couple years, I saw a picture of the woman who inspired me to play the piano in my teachers living room. I asked her about the picture and she said it was her eight years ago at the Ordway. At that moment I realized that my future teacher had inspired me to learn that wonderful instrument, and inspires me now to play above what I can do.