Help correct/improve my motivation letter

I'm applying for an exchange program in Korea. Below is my first draft. I would really appreciate it if you guys could help me improve it.

Thank you in advance.

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Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in studying at XXX University as part of XXXX Programme 2017/2018. If selected, I would continue my business study as a third year student.

I am currently a second year student of XXX University. My drive has enabled me to enter various competitions in the past where I often end up in prize-winning places. I am very interested in teamwork, and therefore participated in organizing college events. I feel that by doing so I can hone my leadership skills that would help me reach my goals in the future.

I want to participate in an international exchange for various reasons. First of all, this is a rare opportunity for me to try and live in a foreign country and really immerse myself in a different culture and language. The reason why I want to go to Korea of all countries, is because I’ve always been interested in their rich culture and beautiful history. Daejeon will also fit my personality because even though it's not a small town, it has a small town atmosphere. It’s also only an hour by train to Seoul.

I chose XXX University because it is specialized in ASEAN countries. This means, it will maximize my chance to really interact with other ASEAN students, hopefully building priceless future networks. Attending this university will help me to appreciate how Korean schools approach business. I’m very intrigued to take Business Risks and Failure with Cases. I think it will be very interesting to see how business practice works in East Asia. This whole exchange program will be an opportunity of a lifetime to observe the difference with how it is in Indonesia and to implement things I gained from the experience. XXX University also offers courses in my field of study which are not available at the XXX University such as Economics of Innovation.

In the future, I hope to be able to open up my own business. Since I see entrepreneurship as a powerful asset to lead a successful life, being an entrepreneur has always been my goal. Not only I have strong determination to succeed, I myself also have had my own entrepreneurship experience through opening an online store. When I decided to open up my first online business in 2012 selling anime (Japanese cartoon), I got surprisingly good response from the market, because there weren’t that many sellers offered what I had. And then in 2013, I opened another online store where I sell my paper quilling crafts, which turned into a big hit. My store page even got covered exclusively on Kaskus, Indonesia’s largest community website.

I also have taken several online courses as a part of my lifelong education commitment. One of them was Beyond Silicon Valley: Growing Entrepreneurship in Transitioning Economies, offered by Case Western Reserve University. The class was taught by Prof. Michael Goldberg, about the struggle startup businesses have to go through before they could launch to the market, especially for those who are based in developing countries. I enjoyed not only learning the materials and doing the quizzes, but also contributing in the forum and indulging in some interesting discussions there. I passed the course with 99.2% mark.

I thank you for taking the time to consider my application. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please feel free to contact me at the email address given below at any time.

Best Regards,

Dzaky Alfajr

E-mail: XXX