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Hoa Nguyen 8806 Posted 9 years ago
Grammar

Help, can you review this esssay for me?

I intend to take an IELTS test but I don't know how many scores my essay should be. Please help me if you are free. My essay needs fixing grammar and meaning of word (if necessary). Many thanks.

Some people think international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are some other ways. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays air pollution has become a critical issue due to increased demand to products and development. While many individuals argue that curbing air pollution by introducing international car-free days is promising, I believe that other more effective methods should be taken into considerations

On the one hand, there are various reasons why many people agree that the former approach is conducive to reduce air pollution. A prominent could be that cars consume a lot of petroleum which causes immense amount of pollution when burnt. These days, there is an increasing number of people using cars as the result of state-of-the-art technology in car industry as well as high standard of living. Consequently, emissions from cars increase the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which is mainly leading to global warming. International car-free, therefore, could reduce a cartain amount of emissions stemming from this mean of transportation and would encourage commuters to think about the alternative vehicles that are more environmental- friendly

On the other hand, I would advocate that there are numerous approaches that would be more effective than above-mentioned one. Firstly, the government should prioritize tax –money to invent eco-friendly means of transport such as hybrid car or smaller-fuel car in order to minimize carbon dioxide emissions without changing the need of using car of residents. For this reason, some countries including US, Germany and Japan already have hydrogen plans to solve the issue. Moreover, not only do fossil fuels pose an environmental hazard but there is also a pressing need to find alternative energy sources that is renewable. As a results, the government should also put the emphasis on generating solar enery or wind power that are rechargeable and not harmful to the environment.

In conclusion, I am convinced that other methods would be highly advantageous, although international car-free days could be promising in some extent.

  
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