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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

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Last summer I visited my uncle who lives in Munich. I went with my aunt and my cousin by plane and we stayed in Munich for a fortnight.
There, we visited several museums and landmarks, mostly palaces and castles, and we also took a walk in the Englischer Garten, one of the world's largest urban public parks.
As I can’t speak German, I had to speak English when I was in Munich.
English is the most commonly used language among foreign language speakers. Throughout the world, when people with different languages come together they usually use English to communicate. Learning to communicate in English is important to many areas indeed. For instance, it will make you more employable in every country in the world; you will have access to a great wealth of information and entertainment.

Therefore, the importance of learning English cannot be underestimated in an increasingly interconnected and globalized world.
  

Top answer

This is a good start, but you need to re-organize your paragraphs and add some structural helpers. Here are my suggestions: Last summer I visited my uncle who lives in Munich. I went with my aunt and my cousin by plane and we stayed in Munich for a fortnight.

  • This is a good start, but you need to re-organize your paragraphs and add some structural helpers.
  • Here are my suggestions: Last summer I visited my uncle who lives in Munich.
  • I went with my aunt and my cousin by plane and we stayed in Munich for a fortnight.
  • There, we visited several museums and landmarks, mostly palaces and castles, and we also took a walk in the Englischer Garten, one of the world's largest urban public parks.
  • As I can’t speak German, I had to speak English the entire time when I was in Munich.
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1 Answers
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This is a good start, but you need to re-organize your paragraphs and add some structural helpers. Here are my suggestions:

Last summer I visited my uncle who lives in Munich. I went with my aunt and my cousin by plane and we stayed in Munich for a fortnight. There, we visited several museums and landmarks, mostly palaces and castles, and we also took a walk in the Englischer Gar

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