help...

Hi,
Hopefully tomorrow I will submit my PhD thesis in economics. Since I am not a native English speaker I used an editor service to improve the clarity of my dissertation. However, I wish to enter a new sentence to my thesis. Will someone be kind enough to hep we check it for grammar, wording and punctuation? (if so here it is)

This observation suggests several insights. First, it suggests that w°(.) itself is a leading candidate for the welfare relation (a point we will discuss in Section 5.3); second, since all selves maximize the (active part of) the same "welfare function", it also suggests that our version of the multi-selves Pareto criterion is expected to derive finer welfare judgments than the previous versions. Finally...

I thank you in advance.