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ARAHAN Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Hello Plz anyone check this

My professional goal is to join education sector after completing Masters from Germany. Here in Pakistan when any apply as a lecturer in Colleges and universities. The interviewer gave preference to those candidates who have higher degrees. That’s why i have plan to take higher education . My mother is teacher and she inspired me a lot. Since my childhood i have wish to join education sector.
I choose University of Bonn ,Due to following reasons firstly, the course contents of Bonn university Master of Computer Science and my previous education linked. In Bonn they offer four specialization fields, Algorithmics, Information and communication management, Graphic vision and audio and Intelligent system. Secondly, The attitude of university toward newly students is very cooperative and caring. When ever i mailed my course coordinator Ms. Sibllyn Hanh she instantly replied and help me a lot thirdly university offer study buddy facility In which they assign me a third semester student to help me and guide in my earlier days . I don't know anyone in Germany it helps me a lot. I also discuss about course and city environment with my study buddy and she is also very cooperative.
In my undergraduate i studied basics of all these fields .In my two year B.Sc i studied Linner algebra, calculus , vector ,method and discreet math which really help me in master and math is also the basic requirement of university at the time of admission along with math i studied visual basic , and networking after successfully completed B.Sc i start master in Computer science its basically equivalent to undergraduate In which I studied Algorithmics, Software engineering, networking, Object oriented languages Theoretical computing.
In my master in university of Bonn i have choose one field as my main area of interest in which i have to write thesis and i have planing to choose Information and communication management as my specialization , Because i have interest in Networking. In my previous education i studied Data communication and networks , Network administrator , wireless and mobile communication . Which help me in masters. My specialization field is based on networks ti also have plan along with my master to take exams of Microsoft certification like CCNA, CCNP. The scope of this field is very bright here in Pakistan and in middle east.

Furthermore the reason of choosing Germany rather than Australia and UK because Germans are hardworking, reliable and responsible people.The German government is one of world's biggest investors in research and development. It funds and supports a wide variety of universities and their research facilities, High-quality teaching and research ,A safe and welcoming environment, This highly motivating atmosphere, together with the German mentality, create the most suitable environment for effective study and research.
  

Top answer

First of all, the personal pronoun "I" must ALWAYS be written as a capital letter in formal writing. I have marked some errors in yellow, and also made some suggestions. If you edit the rest of your letter, following these corrections, and re-post it, I will check the rest of it, too.

  • First of all, the personal pronoun "I" must ALWAYS be written as a capital letter in formal writing.
  • I have marked some errors in yellow, and also made some suggestions.
  • If you edit the rest of your letter, following these corrections, and re-post it, I will check the rest of it, too.
  • My professional goal is to join the education sector after completing a Masters degree from Germany.
  • Here in Pakistan when any one appl ies as a lecturer in c olleges and universities , t he interviewer s g i ve preference to those candidates who have higher degrees.
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5 Answers
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First of all, the personal pronoun "I" must ALWAYS be written as a capital letter in formal writing. I have marked some errors in yellow, and also made some suggestions. If you edit the rest of your letter, following these corrections, and re-post it, I will check the rest of it, too.

My professional goal is to join the education sector after completing a Maste
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Thanx a lot for checking it...

I fix the mistakes plz check it Emotion: smile

Also the paragraph arrangement and sentence struct
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The first paragraph is OK.

I have chosen to apply for University of Bonn, because I really like its modular system of study. I specially appreciate the wide range of offered modules and the freedom in making your study plan. firstly, the course contents of Bonn University Master of Computer Science
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ARAHANThanx a lot for checking it...
That is not correct spelling.
ARAHANI fix the mistakes plz check it
"plz" is also not correct spelling. Please, is. You should avoid using textspeak
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Thanks for correction Emotion: embarrassed

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