Hello, Please grade this IELTS Task 2 writing of mine (which band I am at)? Thank you in advanced!

Task 2: With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

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Since there is an increasing number of people residing in urban areas, a vast majority of them resort to houses with almost no open air spaces. While this tendency initiatescontroversial debates, I am of the opinion that it triggers adverse effects on house owners’ physical and mental health.

The most evident demerit would be degrading health conditions of the residents. First and foremost, people living in almost totally indoor spaces may suffer from respiratory diseases and illnesses, since this type of house has fewer vents for air to circulate, causing the harmful germs and virus to be trapped indoor. For example, an enclosed apartment is the ideal environment for SARS-COVI-2 virus to proliferate and infect those staying inside. In addition, little or no open space would limit people from exercising, which may act as a contributor to overweight or obesity, or even further, cardiovascular and circulatory diseases.

At the same time, I believe that enclosed house owners are more likely prone to some sorts of mental issues. In fact, little exposure to sunlight and exercises is one of the main reasons people have to deal with psychogenic relating problems like stress or depression. This is because sunlight and exercising help relieve nervous tension, thus decrease mental disorders inducing elements. A recent research from John Hopkins University states that spending at least an hour jogging outdoor would improve people’s mental health and reduce the chance of getting psychiatric disorder by 30%.

In conclusion, the trend of no-open-space home is apparently conducive to the deteriorating physical as well as mental condition of citizens.