Hello! I hope you can spare some time to review my IELTS writing task 2 on video games

Hi, I'm Skylie! This is an essay I have just written about video games. Could you please review how I arrange my idea and the mistakes that I made in my writing? The topic is:

??Some people say video games are a good way to relax and have fun. Others say that playing too many video games can negatively affect your health and social life.

Discuss both views and give your opinion

Here comes my writing! Thank you so much for reviewing mine :3

Along with the development of technology, gaming has slowly become one of the main leisure activities in our lives. As a matter of fact, the interference of video games in people’s daily life has brought about controversial opinions on the topic. While one supports the joy and pleasure playing video games offers, the other argues that this hobby has caused several adverse effects on our life quality. I believe each perspective has its reasons to stand on, and neither outweighs the other.

Many people hold a belief that video games are detrimental to the body and mind. As they are designed to be addictive, gaming poses a threat to the physical health of players if they spend several hours playing in the same place and posture. This can severely harm their eyes due to long-hour exposure to electric screen, and apply pressure on the spine because of the prolonged bad sitting position. Furthermore, the more addictive gamers are, the less time they spare for their family and friends. Since that person is immersed in the simulation world, it will divert their attention to finish the tasks and level up in games rather than spend time on social interaction and nurturing relationships.

Despite the bad reputation, playing video games offers numerous benefits to gamers. The most obvious advantage is that it allows people to unwind after stressful working hours. In a colourful and well-built world, gaming enables players to be themselves and go through the challenge more easily and interestingly which offers a sense of achievement. Besides, this pursuit also shapes the player mind and boost certain skills. Many popular games in the market require good reflexive ability and sometimes, analytical thinking to pass a level or unfold the storyline. In addition, most of them are also meant to convey messages and spread awareness about the most urgent social issues, including sensitive topics like poverty, depression or sexual assault.

In my opinion, to make use of playing video games and turn them into a beneficial means of entertainment with less harmful consequences, it is essential to reschedule our timetable and manage playing time. Parental guidance and surveillance should be provided in case the players are under the age of eighteen. With an appropriate plan, I believe that gamers can limit the detrimental effects and even acquire new knowledge through this activity.

In conclusion, playing video games has both pros and cons, and by controlling the amount of time you spend on it, gaming can become a good pursuit to partake after a busy and exhausting day.