HEALTH - IELTS TASK 2 - Please help me correct this essay ! Thank you in advance . Have a good day!

Some people say the government should take care of citizens’ health. Others say that every citizen should do it themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the question of whether the responsibility for people’s well-being should be taken by the authorities or each individual has been in the limelight of the public. Although the responsibility of government is vitally important, I would argue that it would be better for citizens to do it themselves.

There are a handful of reasons why the state should look after health of people. First, since taxes have already been collected, the authorities should take responsibility for well-being of citizens. In fact, the national budget has always been partly invested in medical care such as building more the-state-of-art healthcare system and making hospital fees affordable to everyone, which leads to healthier citizens and helps the government fulfill their obligation. Second, by investing in healthcare system nationally, the authorities can ensure a nation with higher citizens’ lifespan. This means that solely the state has sufficient financial power and laws to help people who are in far-flung areas have access to comprehensive medical care.

However, every citizen should be health-conscious rather than always depending on the contribution of the authorities. First, in order to stay healthy and positive, it is significant for people to take part in exercises and have a balanced diet. For example, one often involves in yoga activities or aerobics as well as eating more vegetables on a daily basis, making them keep fit. Second, if individuals are self-aware of having regular check-ups, they can get their diseases diagnosed timely. Plenty of evidence suggests that those diseases such as cancer and diabetes will be treated as soon as possible, which help people live longer.

In conclusion, with these convincing arguments, well-being should be looked after by every individual as the state solely plays a supplementary role on people’s health. By noticing the magnitude of health, everyone must participate in sports, avoiding sleep deprivation and so on to live healthier.