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Heehaw Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Headline

I'm writing a headline for a social app profile. Is this OK: There's too much world to experience to lie idly still in one zone/place. I've been blessed to make the world my playground, and this is my gift to y'all, by sharing the planet/globe thru my eyes.

How's my writing? I included multiple words that I feel is a good fit.
  

Top answer

Heehaw headline What do you mean by that? A headline is a very short phrase, not even a sentence.

  • Heehaw headline What do you mean by that?
  • A headline is a very short phrase, not even a sentence.
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10 Answers
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Heehawheadline
What do you mean by that? A headline is a very short phrase, not even a sentence.
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Mister Micawber HeehawheadlineWhat do you mean by that? A headline is a very short phrase, not even a sentence.
I meant a description.
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OK, then.

Your first sentence needs reshaping and some of the other vocabularly choices are gratuitous. 'Ya'll' is a southern US regional word that is not even used by northern Americans, so it just sounds silly coming from a Korean. Offering your experience as a 'gift' sets a pompous tone.

There's too much world to experience, so I cannot simply stay in one place. I've been
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What about: I've been able to make the world my playground, and I'd like to share the planet with you through my experiences.

Changing eyes to experiences
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HeehawChanging eyes to experiences
OK.

(I hope you realize that 'I've been able to make the world my playground' says to your readers, 'I'm rich and you're not'.)
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Can you say: There's too much life to experience, so I cannot simply stay in one place. I'd like to share the world with you through my eyes.

Is this grammatically correct and native English?
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Or : Theres too much life to experience to simply stay in one place.

Is this OK?
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There's too much in life to experience to simply stay in one place.
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Heehaw 1. There's too much life to experience, so I cannot simply stay in one place. 2. I'd like to share the world with you through my eyes.
Another way phrase it (informally and personally):
  1. There's so much to experience in life, I just can't stay in one place.
  2. Come with me so I can share the world wit
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HeehawCan you say: There's too much life to experience, so I cannot simply stay in one place. I'd like to share the world with you through my eyes.Is this grammatically correct and native English?
You have been asked before not to double-post, Heehaw. Habitual double-posters lose their privileges here, as it makes extra work for our volunteers.

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