Have you been to a prom

Question

Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" Or does it suggest that the person spoken to is still in high school or college and so I should use "Did you go to a prom?" instead?
(assuming there is no such thing as a prom for adults)

lemmings

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" ... there is no such thing as a prom for adults) lemmingsThe Prom to a UK resident takes place at the[/nq]
Royal Albert Hall. My last prom was in 1958.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" ... use "Did you go to a prom?" instead? (assuming there is no such thing as a prom for adults) lemmings[/nq]
I can't see how it would make a difference. If you're worried about it, phrase it "When you were in high school, did you go to a prom?"

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" ... use "Did you go to a prom?" instead? (assuming there is no such thing as a prom for adults) lemmings[/nq]
I'm presuming you're an L2 learner and your question is about typical present perfect re simple past usage, right? As a Brit, I'm also assuming we're talking about US usage of the word 'prom' - a big party/dance when kids leave school at about the age of 18, rather than BrE usage - the annual Henry Wood promenade concerts at the Albert Hall (I've been to one of those - it was Mahler and pretty darn cool it was too.) Apologies if these assumptions are wrong.
My feeling is that if you'd already introduced the subject of school days, it wouldn't be unreasonable to use simple past-
"When you were in High School, did you go to the prom?".

However, when you talk to people about general life experiences, as there are always possibilities for new experiences, however unlikely, I'd feel inclined to use pp. The closest thing I could think of went like this:-

"Have you (ever) eaten school dinners?"
"Well, no, I used to go home to eat at lunchtime. But now I've got a new job as a school inspector, it's just possible.."

I think the answer to the question-
"Did you go to a prom", out of the blue, and without a defining frame of time reference, is likely to be
"When? What, you mean did I go to a prom, when I was in High School?"

Hope this helps.
DCC. School disco. Tank top. Cheap cider. Aspirin and coke.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" ... to is still in high school or college and so I should use "Did you go to a prom?" instead?[/nq]
What about the proms at the Albert Hall?
Do they still have them?

Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/7734/stevesig.htm
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from college long time ago, "Have you been to a prom?" ... should use "Did you go to a prom?" instead? (assuming there is no such thing as a prom for adults)[/nq]
If I was introducing the subject, if there had been no discussion of proms earlier in the conversation, I would say, "Did you ever go to a prom?" The "ever" opens up the door to a very long time span: at any time in one's life. Without the "ever," the question sounds too abrupt: "What do you mean? When?"
I might possibly say, "Have you ever been to a prom?" but that form feels more likely if the possibility extended up to the present, whereas the "Did" form suggests it must have happened further back in the past.
Best Donna Richoux
An American living in the Netherlands

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from ... there is no such thing as a prom for adults)[/nq]
[nq:1]If I was introducing the subject, if there had been no discussion of proms earlier in the conversation, I would ... possibility extended up to the present, whereas the "Did" form suggests it must have happened further back in the past.[/nq]
Nobody has mentioned the seaside Prom (short for Promenade, like the concerts), which is a section of walkway between the beach and the land. You could walk along here in the evening without getting your shoes sandy.
O I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom,
Where the brass band plays, tiddly om pom pom.

David
==

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]If I was introducing the subject, if there had been ... suggests it must have happened further back in the past.[/nq]
[nq:1]Nobody has mentioned the seaside Prom (short for Promenade, like the concerts), which is a section of walkway between the ... O I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom, Where the brass band plays, tiddly om pom pom.[/nq]
Or a Grande Promenade, meaning a tour of France.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]Is it all right to ask someone who graduated from ... there is no such thing as a prom for adults)[/nq]
[nq:1]If I was introducing the subject, if there had been no discussion of proms earlier in the conversation, I would ... span: at any time in one's life. Without the "ever," the question sounds too abrupt: "What do you mean? When?"[/nq]
Thanks! Now come to this of it. This "Did you ever.." form is probably the one I most frequently hear in situations like this (where something must have happened a long time ago if it ever did). I understand that it is probably the best way in colloquial American English, but would you say this form is also allowed in formal speech or educated writing?
[nq:1]I might possibly say, "Have you ever been to a prom?" but that form feels more likely if the possibility extended up to the present,[/nq]
I thought so and that's why I asked the question in the first place. But from the post of Django Cat it looks like British people don't necessarily feel this way. I'm confused.
[nq:1]whereas the "Did" form suggests it must have happened further back in the past.[/nq]
lemmings

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]If I was introducing the subject, if there had been ... the question sounds too abrupt: "What do you mean? When?"[/nq]
[nq:1]Thanks! Now come to this of it. This "Did you ever.." form is probably the one I most frequently hear ... way in colloquial American English, but would you say this form is also allowed in formal speech or educated writing?[/nq]
Yes. It's not some sort of informal use. However, it's a bit hard to think why you'd ask such a "Did you ever..." question in a really formal circumstances. I suppose a lawyer questioning a witness in court would need it: "Did you ever see the defendant start a fight?" or something.
[nq:2]I might possibly say, "Have you ever been to a prom?" but that form feels more likely if the possibility extended up to the present,[/nq]
[nq:1]I thought so and that's why I asked the question in the first place. But from the post of Django Cat it looks like British people don't necessarily feel this way. I'm confused.[/nq]
There are some differences in grammar between British and American English, just as there are some differences in pronunciation, vocabulary, and spelling. Some differences are more widely known than others. Usually we can understand each other pretty well, but it's hard to notice that the other side never says a certain thing.

Best Donna Richoux

Usenet · Answer

Irwell:
[nq:2]Nobody has mentioned the seaside Prom (short for Promenade, like ... prom, Where the brass band plays, tiddly om pom pom.[/nq]
[nq:1]Or a Grande Promenade, meaning a tour of France.[/nq]
Or the Programmable Read Only Memory. Do these exist any more? They have all mutated into EPROMs I think.

the Omrud
through a Glass, darkly

Have you been to a prom

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